The Love Dare; My Gift To Josh


If you've seen the movie Fireproof, you are familiar with the book The Love Dare, which is what the movie is based on. The reason this movie was such a perfect choice for us this year on Valentine's Day is that this was my gift to Josh. I did it. That is, I secretly read the book and did the daily challenges and journaled my way through until by the end I had a little diary full of what I'd learned throughout the 40 days. I gave this journal to Josh for his gift.


Now before Melanie has a fit (she gave The Love Dare to Josh for Christmas, intending him to read it and do it for me), let me share the first page of my journal, which should explain all about why it was so right for me to do it:


"Today I began The Love Dare. Melanie gave this book to Josh for Christmas, most likely intending it for him to read, do, and improve in his love for me (which I thought was a great idea! :)). But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my husband has very little time to read. He's always purchasing books and then not reading them. And I have known Relationship Books in particular to sit on the shelf for years, still in their original shrink-wrap.


I began to chafe. 'He needs to read this book, I'm sure!' 'Think what it could do for our marriage, and I just know he's not going to do it.' Thoughts like these began to plague my mind.


Then it dawned on me. Or I should say, God dawned it on me that maybe I was the one who needed to read and do the challenges within the book. I myself have been struggling lately to really love Josh; free from comparison to others, free from expectation of what I should receive in return, free from criticism. I believe the Lord has laid it on my heart to take this 40-day (!) challenge to better love my husband. What a perfect Valentine's gift this year!


I love you, Josh, and by God's grace I can love you more."


See what I mean? If you think the other person needs more work than you, it's a good indicator that you need to be humbled a little bit and re-examine your heart. My heart, that is. This book has been a wonderful wonderful tool. It has opened my eyes to things I had ignored for years. Things like: Josh and I are on the same team. And that God loved me~loves me~despite what I do or don't do in return, and He expects me to love my husband the same way.


It took me back to 1Cor 13 and opened it up in very practical ways, saying "This is what that passage of Scripture looks like in real life!"


Finally, let me share the Epilogue I wrote as the last journal entry. The rest of the journal, if you don't mind, I'd like to keep a secret for Josh. It was his gift after all!


"Before I began this Dare, I had forgotten that marriage is supposed to be a unity with my spouse--that it is not one who 'wins' and the other is left in the dust! Rather, it is a constant, unrelenting, giving of myself; expecting nothing in return. Loving the way Christ loves me. I love no matter what. Praise the Lord for this book and that it reminded me how wonderful marriage can be."


Thank you for the Christmas gift, Melanie. I guess in a way the book did benefit Josh, though not in the way you originally intended. :)




Comments

Ruth said…
I've seen the movie but not read the book. It sounds like a good one! Your journal sounds like a wonderful Valentine's Day gift for your hubby. :-)
February 14, 2009 at 4:31 PM
Melanie said…
Joanna,

How touching! I did intend for Josh to read the book, and I still hope he does, but I think what you did was so incredible. I think it made it even more incredible that you gave it to him at the end of watching Fireproof! You never know what this sacrifice will do for the long term unity of your marriage. Both by helping your understanding of marriage and unity and oneness and by giving Josh the knowledge of your solid commitment to him. I've watched Fireproof a couple times now, and it seems like it's in my mind a lot. :) I just think there were so many great points in it. And, as you saw, the Mom did the Love Dare for the Dad (as a cool twist to the plot). I can't think of a more special valentine's day gift than what you gave.

We love you guys! I'm glad the book could benefit Josh in that way, but I hope someday he'll break down and do it himself. :)

Melanie
February 16, 2009 at 5:52 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Resolving Everyday Conflict

Image
If you've ever been asked to lead a discussion or teach about a certain spiritual discipline, you can be sure that the Lord will lovingly bring just that exact topic to the forefront in your own life. He'll graciously put your ugly sinful tendencies "right on Front Street," as my good friend Dara likes to say. This is grace! This is God's kindness to reveal sinful tendencies in our own hearts so that we can repent, seek renewed relationship with God and others, and be used of Him. Here is a story about one such evidence of God's grace to me. Josh and I were late to our small group last night. Oh, we were there . We had technically arrived on time, but we remained in the parking lot of the neighborhood's clubhouse for over 45 minutes before we were able to walk in holding hands. Much later in the evening, on our way home from Grace Group, Eden begged to be the one to fill the boys in on why we were late (the boys had driven separately from a soccer practice
Read more

The Hand of God

Image
 I am in Scotland. S C O T L A N D. This is me; Joanna, the one whose comfort zone is within about one square mile, who said she never wanted to leave the USA, who hates to travel on anything public, who nearly hyperventilates at the mere mention of airplanes. How is this possible that I am here? Only by God's grace. Every step in front of the other, every long line, every minute on those airplanes was enabled by God's grace. On my end, it wasn't always pretty--usually it was very ugly--and I may have said, "I can't do this" more times than we could count (Josh had to tell me to quit saying that), but God was faithful to me and I have a really great story about one such miracle to share with you, but for perspective and contrast I have to share a really ugly story first. Here goes:  We dropped off our rental car in Dublin about 11am, and had to ride a shuttle bus back to the Dublin airport to catch our 1:10pm "quick" flight over to Edinburgh, Scotlan
Read more

The Whole Truth

Image
Our cat, Willow, has kittens periodically. By periodically I mean about 2-3 times a year, and we don't hate it. We actually enjoy guessing when her due date is, how many kittens there will be, what they will look like, etc. Then when she has them, well, is there anything cuter than kittens? But sooner or later, 8 weeks later to be exact, it's time for those kittens to go. At that time we will put an ad on Craigslist and find homes for each and every one. This brings the fun hassle of sending people additional pictures, telling them again how much we are charging (that was in the ad!), setting up potential meetings with people who will ghost at the last minute, after we've already given them our address. Everyone should put an ad on Craigslist at least once just for the experience. Should you finally get someone who likes the look of a kitten, wants to pay the price, can meet at an agreeable time, successfully finds your house, is okay with the fact that the kittens haven&#
Read more