My Ebenezer

From Monday to Wednesday all it did was rain (I think we had 8 inches or something crazy like that) and then Thursday--Christmas Day--we went to look at some land. We decided since we didn't have other plans, that we would take the whole family in Josh's Honda Pilot up to look at a 12-acre parcel of land that Josh had been considering for purchase.  We had heard that about a third of this land was considered "wet lands" and, well, they were right.  I'm sure all that rain didn't help. :) We parked on a section of the swamp road just on the edge of the woods where this parcel began.  We got out.  We rolled up our pants and waded through the woods, about ankle-deep in water. We looked around.  After a little while, we decided we had seen enough and were ready to go home.  We got back in our vehicle, prepared to empty out our shoes and wring out our socks.  Josh put the car in reverse, backed up, and then tried to go forward.  Our tires spun and a shower of mud

When we moved into this house in May 2010, there were certain projects we had left undone with the intention of completing upon move-in. But then there were all those boxes to be unpacked, and life to be lived, and here we are four and a half years later, with many of those projects yet undone.  I'm sure none of you can relate to that. :) Josh and I decided that we needed A List (oh, goodie, I love those!); a list of projects still needing to be done, and that on Saturdays we could pick one or two and knock them out.  This week's project was Installing a Windowsill and Trim Around the Kitchen Window.  For four and a half years, my tomatoes and windowsill knick-knacks (who doesn't have those?) have been sunning themselves on bare wood.  Today, they have a beautiful marble sill to sit on!  Thank you, Josh, for taking the time to complete this!

Two years ago today, God gave us our second little miracle in the form of Seth Marshall.  These two years have flown by!  Here are a few fun facts about our boy whom we affectionately call our "Loose Cannon." The fact that we call him Loose Cannon should say a lot!  Everything he touches turns to disaster, and you just never know what mess he will create next. He talks a lot, but as of yet I can only understand about 1/4 of what he says.  Sometimes you can pick up hints from the context of the situation, but other times I'm just at a loss as to what he needs. One thing I do understand him saying is, "MMmm, that's GOOD!" (which sounds like "MMmm, va DOO!") when he's eating a tasty food. Seth is ready to be potty-trained, but am I?  That is the question.  I'm thinking of taking a week off from school and just doing that full time.  We'll see. He has a very strong opinion about what he wears, which is foreign territory for me

On Thursday of this week, we attended the Jacksonville Fair with Matt and Jen's family, and on Friday evening, Matt and Jen were kind enough to watch our kids (thanks, guys!!) while Josh and I took in a performance of The Nutcracker.  To say that the two experiences were different would be an understatement of epic proportions.  Maybe I am just biased, what with my inner ballerina and all, but I was in my element at the ballet, and very much out of it at the fair.  I left the fair with a headache, and left the ballet dancing (at least inwardly). That said, here are some pictures I took (go, me!) of both events: Nervous much? Jen and I caught Brianne and Titus grasping Noah's shirt while waiting in line for this ride.  That's right, go to Noah when you need a little assurance. Or not. ;) Titus, Noah, Brianne, and Libby on that very same ride a few minutes later. The agricultural building is, in my opinion, the best part of the fair.  They had this huge

There are certain realities that just go with the territory of having boys.  Among others, the boundless energy. The mud.  The guns. The obsession with anything motorized.  The complete inability to stay out of puddles. And the climbing of trees.   Deep down I wouldn't trade any of these things, even though I may complain (loudly at times) about the amount of laundry that I do. It's what makes them boys .  And I love them! Oh, and P.S.  When did Noah get so BIG?

When Josh brought home a white rabbit the other day, I had to think fast to prevent Noah from coming up with the ever-popular-but-very-prosaic "Snowball" for a name. Besides, we used to have a bunny named Snowball (guess who named it?) and it was time for a new name.  So I suggested Olaf, which is perhaps the funniest snow creature I have ever seen.  Everybody loved it, and so here I present to you, Olaf. Oops, that's not Olaf.  That's my photobomber, Seth.  Olaf is behind him. There we are!  Noah was delighted to find that Olaf likes celery. A very happy Noah with a very nervous Olaf

We enjoy a good read-aloud around here.  In September we read Treasures of the Snow , by Patricia St. John, and in October we read The Horse and His Boy , by C.S. Lewis.  As we were finishing that one, I reserved a few books at the library to preview and choose for our next read-aloud.  One of those was Mr. Popper's Penguins, which after I reviewed it, planned to assign to Noah as part of his reading class curriculum.  However, the next day I discovered him reading it, and he was already 2/3 of the way through!  He devoured that book before I ever had a chance to come up with study questions and such, so I guess it's off the list.  But boy did he enjoy it!  Here's an excerpt from the part that had him giggling out loud: "Penguins are very intelligent," continued Mr. Popper.  "Listen to this, Mamma. It says here that when they want to catch some shrimps, they all crowd over to the edge of an ice bank.  Only they don't just jump in, because a sea leop

I used to come here more often.  This blog was my outlet; my sounding board for whatever I wanted to talk about.  Quite simply, I miss it.  I miss the clickety-clack of the keys as I divest my cluttered mind of its burdens and delights.  So I'm back.  At least until my life jerks me once more into reality, which could be any minute... School fills up a good bit of our time.  I have to admit that sometimes we all have attitudes like this: but thankfully, most of the time it's more like this: In case you were wondering, we have never had second thoughts at all about our decision to homeschool.  Thank the Lord that He seems to have made it clear that we did a good thing.  Noah loves that school doesn't take all day, and I love that I get to witness him learning new things and have more influence in shaping his character.  Speaking of shaping character, that is a constant job.  But you knew that. Seth is almost two, and doesn't he look sweet all contained so ne

When I go through a significant trial, I usually can't trust myself to write about it right away.  The feelings are too raw, my flesh is too strong, and I fear I will say something I will regret.  But I think I am ready now.  God has reminded me of late that He is in complete control, and that "no purpose of [His] can be thwarted." Job 42:2  These are vital things to know when you go through trials inexplicable. Over the last five months, God has allowed Josh and me to lose four babies.  Four babies in five months.  In May and again in July, we lost two miracle pregnancies almost as quickly as we discovered them.  And now here in October, we have lost two more precious ones to a failed IVF cycle. I have done a lot of asking God, "Why?" which for the record always turns out to be an exercise in frustration and brings with it no peace, only more questions and prideful accusations.  Then I remembered Job, who in the middle of his trials (which were exponentiall

I had the option in college to major in Art Education, but at the time all the education classes steered me away from that option.  Little did I know.  And now, 12 years after graduation, I am teaching Art twice a month to our little homeschool group--which consists of Noah and his Jacksonville cousins.  We have had 2 classes so far, and it's going well.  It's a bit of a challenge because I have ages 2-7 in my "class", but we do manage to have ourselves some fun, even if I do often lose the four-year-old to the greener pastures of the toy trucks. Today we did fingerprint art... Titus made "blocks" out of his fingerprints.  See him eyeing the trucks in the next room?  I get you, Titus! Libby had fun making lots of different colored fingerprints Brianne immediately decided to make flowers, and they turned out beautifully! (Hey, where's Titus?  Can you guess?) And Noah worked on a hand "tree" with fingerprint "leaves.

Lately I have been feeling like I'm being knocked around by life a bit.  My house is overwhelming in a continually disheveled, stuff-everywhere, does-that-laundry-basket-contain-clean-clothes-or-dirty? sort of way, there are projects piling up that I have no time for, my parenting abilities have clearly fallen on hard times, I feel like Josh and I have no time together, and I'm pretty sure (actually, very sure) that our most recent attempt with IVF has failed. "One at a time !" I want to bellow to my trials. "Take a num ber!" But life isn't like that, is it?  Trials don't come in neatly-wrapped bite-sized bundles, one at a time.  No, that's why we say, "when it rains, it pours." So. I thought I'd take a minute and just breathe for a second, and I find a lot of times I come here to breathe.  Or to write, which is similar.  Let me take a moment and focus on some positives for a few minutes: These guys.  I do love them.  

Yesterday I added progesterone shots to my daily medication routine (though I don't think I will ever get used to giving myself a shot, so "routine" seems like a misnomer!).  Lord-willing on Tuesday, Sept 23, we will have our Frozen Embryo Transfer, transferring our two embryos which were frozen when we did IVF the last time.  We are praying that the Lord would use this to grow our family if that would be His will.  I'll keep you posted how things go! I just went back and re-read all my posts from the other IVF attempts we've had.  There are definitely a lot more of those posts, including a lot more details about the process and my feelings, and I hope that doesn't make you think I don't care as much about this cycle as I have the others; I just have a lot less time to blog these days than I did then. I will say that the Lord has already shown Himself faithful on my behalf this cycle, and I'm trusting Him to continue.  Coveting your prayers as you

It's that time again!  Time to muster up the courage, more emotional energy than I can shake a stick at, and lots and lots of prayer as we pursue IVF once again to try to expand our family.  Prayer is really why I've decided to post about this at all; I need me some prayer warriors!  If you think of it, please do pray for us as we begin IVF for the fourth time.  This time, since we are doing a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET for short), it will still involve plenty of medication and an extreme emotional rollercoaster ride, just not quite as many shots or doctor appointments (for which I am thankful!). We are ready to do this.  Noah is seven, Seth is almost two, and I'm not getting any younger either!  We would love to have one more baby, and we have committed to doing this "last" round of IVF, so here we go! Here's our tentative timeline: Now thru mid-Sept  Take first type of medication, gradually increasing the dosage. Mid-Sept  Have blood work and ultrasou

On the last day of 1st grade, Noah came home with all sorts of freebies, one of which was a free family pass to the Cummer Museum of Art here in Jacksonville.  It expired August 31, so I wanted to be sure we took advantage of that.  Well, the summer just blew by and we were suddenly in the last week of August, and so we made some time to go.  No problem, we'll just do our school work early and go around 11am (I love homeschooling!).  Unexpectedly, Josh was also able to join us too!  P.S. Notice we were outside; Seth did not appreciate all the art inside.  He was much better outside.  While we were in the high-ceilinged galleries, he kept shrieking just for the pleasure of hearing his own voice echo.  The guard was not amused. :)

Last Monday was our first day of school.  Rather than making lunches, gathering supplies, finding lost shoes, and racing out the door by 8:15am, we first did some household chores and then went to school at 9:30am right in our very own home. :)  We began with prayer, some Bible verses, and a hymn, and we ended a mere 2 hours later, just before lunch.  Noah couldn't believe it was so short.  "I'm done already ? I love this!" he exclaimed. And so do I.  Homeschooling is nothing like I thought it would be. I thought I'd hate teaching; I love it.  I thought Seth would demand constant tending to and my undivided attention; but he was manageable as long as I kept him busy with us doing similar work.  I thought I could kiss my housework goodbye; instead I got more done this last week than I used to when we were on summer break!  We had a mercifully peaceful week, and I think it was a blessing from the Lord, a gentle affirmation that this was a good decision.  I

We were at Noah's soccer practice the other night and I was running out of Ways To Keep Seth Occupied.  We had already kicked his ball, played "chase," caught a tiny frog and let it go 86 times, gone through my purse, watched people, run off the field and into the parking lot (oops! That one wasn't supposed to happen!), and sung some songs ("The Wheels on the Bus" is great because there are like a thousand verses).  Are you tired yet? I sure was!  But we had 25 minutes to go, and so I went with a game I like to call, "Make 'em Laugh." The object of the game is to make him laugh so that I will keep from crying. It worked. :)

I was so thrilled this morning NOT to send Noah off for his first day of school.  The public schools in our area started today, but I thankfully did not have to pack up a lunch or start the hustle bustle routine of finding shoes and loading a backpack.  I also did not have to wake Seth up from his nap to go pick Noah up at 3:15pm (IS there a worse time to leave the house when you have a napping toddler?).  So far this is what I love best about homeschooling: that I get to decide when Second Grade starts (next Monday, for those of you wondering).  For now, we're enjoying one more week of summer vacation.

I blinked and this summer is almost over.  I can't remember a summer that was more jammed full of birthday parties, trips North, Vacation Bible School work, visitors, and so on.  We are staring down a week of family camp at The Wilds, and then I have one week (one. week.) to do my final preparations before I belly flop dive into homeschooling.  I'm white-knuckled on the edge of that diving board, with deep fingernail prints in the palms of my hands.  The board looks higher from up here.  Nervous?  Who, me? And so I'm praying lots of things: that I won't turn Noah off to the joys of learning, that I will not stink at teaching, that I will keep my cool, that I will be able to handle both teaching Noah and corralling Seth, that this will be fun and one of the best decisions we have made.  Those are tall orders, seeing them there in print.  I'm thankful tonight that my God specializes in tall orders. :)

No less than 5 minutes after he told me his tooth was "really wiggly," I was face-to-face with a gap-toothed Noah.  "Wow, that was fast," I said.  To which he declared, "Yeah, I really wanted the money that I get from the tooth fairy (which he knows is really us), so I just ripped it out."  Well, I guess that's one way to make fifty cents!

Sometimes I wonder at the Lord's ways. “For My thoughts are not  your thoughts, Nor are  your ways My ways,” declares the  Lord . 9  “For  as  the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9 I find myself, less than eight weeks after my miracle pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage, miscarrying again .  Another miraculous pregnancy, another miscarriage, right on the heels of the last one.  I don't really have all that much to say about all this that I haven't already said  in my previous post ...   Except this.  I don't think it's a coincidence at all that the very day I began miscarrying this time, Seth said his first complete thought; a two-word sentence.  "Don't cry."  Clear as day, from the mouth of my little 19-month-old son, a precious reminder to my aching heart that God has this too under His sovereign control. Thank you, Lord. (We have an appointment wi

I instructed Noah to pick up the phone books that had been delivered in our driveway, and deposit them directly into the recycle bin. "What is a phone book, anyway?" He asked. And just like that, I felt old.

Because everyone climbs into the sink when you leave them for "two seconds" while they're brushing their teeth, right?

I came across a quote by C.S.Lewis the other day:   “Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."” I love moments like that!  I experience them often when reading, and actually in my opinion, that is what makes a good book...well, good .  We have been reading aloud in the afternoons, The Trumpet of the Swan , by E. B. White.  I can still remember my second grade teacher (Hi, Mrs. Bogert!) reading that book aloud to my class, and I can remember not wanting her to ever stop.  Now, reading it to Noah is bringing up all my old fondness for the book.   "To be all alone in a hotel room gives a person a cozy feeling and a feeling of importance." (p.134) When I came to that sentence, Noah tapped my arm and said, "Wait, wait, WAIT !  I know what he means!!  You do feel important in a hotel room!"  I would have to agree.  And there is something very satisfying when another person wri

We got back a week ago from a trip to Connecticut, and I'm suffering withdrawals.  My life was beautiful there: get up when I wanted to, go for a leisurely walk with my husband, ride some four-wheeler, don't worry about planning supper (I did help, but it was nice that the planning wasn't on me), shop at consignment stores with my mother-and-sisters-in-law, go to Cape Cod for two nights without the kids... Great. Vacation!