My Ebenezer

When I go through a significant trial, I usually can't trust myself to write about it right away.  The feelings are too raw, my flesh is too strong, and I fear I will say something I will regret.  But I think I am ready now.  God has reminded me of late that He is in complete control, and that "no purpose of [His] can be thwarted." Job 42:2  These are vital things to know when you go through trials inexplicable. Over the last five months, God has allowed Josh and me to lose four babies.  Four babies in five months.  In May and again in July, we lost two miracle pregnancies almost as quickly as we discovered them.  And now here in October, we have lost two more precious ones to a failed IVF cycle. I have done a lot of asking God, "Why?" which for the record always turns out to be an exercise in frustration and brings with it no peace, only more questions and prideful accusations.  Then I remembered Job, who in the middle of his trials (which were exponentiall

I had the option in college to major in Art Education, but at the time all the education classes steered me away from that option.  Little did I know.  And now, 12 years after graduation, I am teaching Art twice a month to our little homeschool group--which consists of Noah and his Jacksonville cousins.  We have had 2 classes so far, and it's going well.  It's a bit of a challenge because I have ages 2-7 in my "class", but we do manage to have ourselves some fun, even if I do often lose the four-year-old to the greener pastures of the toy trucks. Today we did fingerprint art... Titus made "blocks" out of his fingerprints.  See him eyeing the trucks in the next room?  I get you, Titus! Libby had fun making lots of different colored fingerprints Brianne immediately decided to make flowers, and they turned out beautifully! (Hey, where's Titus?  Can you guess?) And Noah worked on a hand "tree" with fingerprint "leaves.

Lately I have been feeling like I'm being knocked around by life a bit.  My house is overwhelming in a continually disheveled, stuff-everywhere, does-that-laundry-basket-contain-clean-clothes-or-dirty? sort of way, there are projects piling up that I have no time for, my parenting abilities have clearly fallen on hard times, I feel like Josh and I have no time together, and I'm pretty sure (actually, very sure) that our most recent attempt with IVF has failed. "One at a time !" I want to bellow to my trials. "Take a num ber!" But life isn't like that, is it?  Trials don't come in neatly-wrapped bite-sized bundles, one at a time.  No, that's why we say, "when it rains, it pours." So. I thought I'd take a minute and just breathe for a second, and I find a lot of times I come here to breathe.  Or to write, which is similar.  Let me take a moment and focus on some positives for a few minutes: These guys.  I do love them.