Parenting In Public

He wanted to walk around the perimeter of this fountain.




Miss Jean decided he needed a walking partner. :)

I think one of the hardest jobs (if not the hardest) on the planet is being a good parent. Especially a Christian parent who desires that your child learn above all to love and obey the Lord. (More on that topic in another post!) But throw yourselves into the public arena, and the Hardness Factor escalates incalulably.

Everyone's watching. Everyone's pretending not to. You are on display with a disobedient child, and what do you do? This question has caused me to contemplate staying home forever, or at least until Noah can obey fairly predictably. Kidding, but still. The world's discipline ways (or lack thereof) are not mine and privacy in public is limited or non-existent. It's at moments like these when I just pray that Noah will obey. He doesn't always.

Today we went to the zoo for the morning with Jen and Brianne, and two ladies from church; Jean and Laura. Before we got to the zoo, I rehearsed The Rules with Noah and went over the effects of following the rules and not following the rules; of obeying and disobeying. It didn't matter. He whined and fussed and complained until I thought I might go crazy. The zoo was mobbed today (first day of spring break around here, didn't you know? No, I didn't! I think I would have picked a different day had I known that!), and the normally vacant restrooms--a.k.a. Discipline Sanctuaries--were teeming with people. Actually the whole place was, so I was left with a small corner beside the restrooms, where I had to settle for a semi-private discussion with Noah instead of our normal discipline routine.

The normal discipline routine would have been much better! Let's just say I was eternally grateful to go home after this morning's zoo experience. Home. Where our discipline routine is not on display except to God and where I do not feel the disapproving eyes of the rest of the zoo's patrons whose children are behaving like angels at the moment. :)

So I guess I'm panning for advice here from you seasoned moms: What can you do in public places? Do you just go home? Is that the answer?

Sincerely,
Frazzled in Florida

Comments

The Stewardess said…
It is hard isn't it? Especially when your leaving also ruins the day of your child's friend (and he is not yet old enough for that to sink in much anyway).I am not a seasoned mom, but I have observed that 3 1/2 has been much better than 2 1/2 was for behaving on public outings, so hang in there. In the meantime- you could bring along on stroller as a means of confinement for a time-out that does not disrupt everyone else's enjoyment. Or save his favorite parts of the zoo/aquarium/botanical gardens whatever for last as a privilege that bad behavior loses. For the most part though, you just have to remember that the only one who is dying for your child to behave perfectly, is you. Thank goodness God does not require it of mommies!
April 1, 2010 at 6:57 PM
cj and family said…
Yep, hard (frustrating, embarrassing, etc.) is a good word for it. And we've ALL been there. Three things I can suggest:
1. Do not nag. Right from the beginning, keep things private by getting down at their eye level and speaking quietly and firmly--a no nonsense repeat of expectations. Since Noah's talking, have him repeat those expectations and the reason for them back to you. "What does God tell children? God tells children to obey. Are you pleasing God with the way you're acting right now?" etc.
2. If whining/disobedience continue, even with multiple private conversations, be prepared to leave--or at least go to the car for some private mommy-child time. Unless you see a dramatic change there though, it's probably better just to head home.
3. Make sure physical needs are taken care of--thirsty, hungry, tired children are simply a meltdown waiting to happen.

Hang in there! Don't grow weary in well-doing, for in due season, you will reap if you faint not. Be consistent at home. And remember, for what it's worth, a mommy's expectations are much higher than everyone else's...one day of a bit extra permissiveness will not yield long-term damage. Blessings!
April 3, 2010 at 2:34 PM
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