My Ebenezer

Patch the Pirate is a favorite around our house. I play many of those cd's for Noah during his playpen time in the mornings, and he's even starting to request the songs when we sing with him at bedtime. His favorites are "Jonah" and "Obedience" (HA! That is beyond ironic that this is one of his favorites!). Anyway, today I was upstairs compiling our Library List for today while Noah was in his playpen, when I heard him singing along with "I Love You, Lord" which was playing at the time. His little "I wuv wu, Wurd" was sooo sweet to hear. I love the sound of a child singing!

Just to jot down a few of the memorable things from this weekend: My potty-training effort with Noah flopped royally. He still is not trained, and doesn't tell me when he has to go. He'll go if I take him and that's about it. BUT I'm not going to give up yet, so we continue... Josh and I had a date night on Saturday, once again made possible by Matt and Jen, who took care of Noah. Josh and I went to O'Charley's and had a nice meal, though I must admit I ruined the first part of the evening with a bad attitude. :( Confession: I am a very time/clock/schedule-oriented person, and I have a hard time understanding those who are not. :) Josh had gone out to spend the afternoon with a friend, and we misunderstood each other about what time he would be back. In my narrow-minded opinion, he was Way Late, and I threw a very nice pity party about that for a while. (These are the true colors of Joanna coming out. The Lord is working on this, but I'm pretty hard-headed a...

Last night and tonight we have had a small respite from the rain that makes us think we might be at the end of this rainy spell. But. Just when we think it's done out there, it starts up again. I hear it raining as I type this. Today makes the 6th day in a row of almost nonstop rain, which is unheard of for this part of the country! Anyway, this isn't the weather channel, so I'm sure you want something better than a weather update! :) Josh took a video of Noah playing in the backyard last evening and taking full advantage of the fact that all his toys were full of water. Poor guy hasn't been outside much at all over the last week. Potty-training went better today. Except for one episode of Stinky In the Big Boy Pants (DOUBLE YUCK!!!), Noah has been dry and accident-free all day! Of course, he still hasn't told me when he has to go. Every so often I just decide it's potty time and we go. Hopefully soon we can get Noah to make the connection himself. Preferably be...

Since it has been raining almost non-stop with no glimpses of sun for about 5 days now (and no promise of stopping any time soon), I decided to finish the week off with an intensive potty-training session for Noah. I've heard that it is possible to potty-train a toddler in 3 days, and that is my goal. We've been on a plateau for months now, stranded in the If-I-Take-Him-Every-45-Minutes-He'll-Go-But-Still-Won't-Tell-Me-He-Has-To-Go Stage. I'm ready to move on to the Done-With-Diapers-For-Good Stage as quickly as possible! Not knowing exactly what I'm doing has made this project somewhat daunting, and leaves me praying I'm doing the right things to help Noah. This morning I put Big Boy Underpants on Noah and made this big production out of it, and how much fun it would be to keep them clean and dry. Next, I gave him his own piece of cantaloupe, as much to drink as he wanted, PLUS some of my tea as a bonus. We set the timer for 30 minutes, and began. So far in...

I don't know about where you are, but here in Jacksonville, it has been raining for two days. Straight. This is unusual for sunny Florida; if it's going to rain it'll do it quickly and powerfully, but it'll be over within an hour and the sun returns. Not today, or yesterday either for that matter. Solid. Rain. Ironically enough, these were the same 2 days that Josh had scheduled to re-roof our house! The guys worked all day in the rain yesterday, and for a few hours this morning, but we decided to call it quits until the sun comes out again. I can only imagine (since I was not actually on the roof) that it was M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E to say the least. So the house on Cellar Cir is in the process of getting a new roof! We are also planning and beginning electrical wiring for ceiling fans, lights, and outlets. After the electrical work is done, I believe we move on to plumbing. I've spent a few hours over there ripping wallpaper out of the main hall bathroom (that stuff was...

One thing that has surprised and relieved me about our new kitty Tux is that he is the most patient cat I have ever met. Cats tend to have one of two reactions to little kids: 1. Run and Hide 2. Bite and Scratch Not Tux, though! This cat lets Noah pick it up and carry it--"bounce" would be more accurate-- anywhere Noah wants....AND PURRS WHILE IT HAPPENS!!! I don't know if the difference is that we had Noah first and then got a kitten who didn't know any better, but whatever it is, we LIKE it! Look at the pictures above and tell me honestly: Have YOU ever met a cat who would allow this?

The Lord has been working in my heart over the last couple of weeks since we found out our IUI didn't work. I cannot describe in words the kind of peace that has filled my soul, except that it is exactly as it says in Philippians 4:6-7, 11: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus... Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." It is just like that! It is a peace which passes all comprehension, all logic, all human understanding. This is the first time in the more than 4 years of dealing with infertility that I have had such peace, and I can only say that it most definitely is NOT coming from me. Left to myself, I am a noisy soul who wants nothing more than my own wishes granted, and pouts when I do not get my way. This peace (I ...

In last week's chapter of Lies Women Believe, which Jen and I have been working through, the subject was Our Circumstances. The fact is that many people believe that their circumstances make them what they are, when in reality their circumstances only reveal what they are. I am at times one of those people! Jim Berg, one of my favorite professors at Bob Jones, had a famous Tea Bag Analogy that illustrates it perfectly. Think of tea as your heart and hot water as life's circumstances and trials. Tea tastes the way it does because of what's in the tea bag. The hot water only reveals what is in the tea bag. You can't blame the hot water for making the tea taste bitter; that's the tea's fault. If you are continually spouting anger, or displaying bitterness or envy, or if you throw pity parties for yourself (this is a big one for me), it is only revealing your sinful heart, NOT whatever circumstance you are blaming. Good stuff, huh?

Noah is my little "hot-box" as I call him. He is usually hot, even in winter. These days, with daytime temps in the 90's, he just drips sweat when he's outside and his face turns beet red. Last night we had been to the park for a walk and when we got home, I suggested to Josh that we let Noah run through the sprinkler for a while and accomplish two things at once: Water the grass and cool off our boy. :)

I am so thankful for my mom today, who reared me with God's help at an older age than most mothers. Mom, I don't know how you found the energy to go to work and take care of me, except that the Lord must have given you grace! I'm finding more and more that being a mom is a difficult job in the sense of the daily-ness of it. There is no "spring break" or "half-days" like they used to give us in school. And no sick days either! My mom never complained, though. Thank you for all your love! And Mom Rowley, you have been a blessing too! Thank you for all the love you've shown to us; for advice you've given and your prayers. There are all those "mother-in-law" jokes out there, and people who don't get along with their mothers-in-law, but you're not that way. :) I've thanked the Lord over and over for giving Josh parents like you. This Mothers' Day, I am again celebrating cautiously. There is a large part of me that still ...

Almost all of last week was spent preparing to have a yard sale. I've never had one before, and I had no idea how much planning and organizing goes into it before you can haul your merchandise out to the driveway to sell. Matt and Jen had some things to sell too, so Jen spent a significant amount of time helping me sort, clean, label, and display the growing piles of stuff. We held our sale yesterday from 8am to about 12:30pm. Minus a couple early-birds who showed up at 7:40am (what part of "8am-Noon" don't you people understand?) the sale went well and was enjoyable. I am SO thankful for Jen who helped me hold down the fort while the sale was going on, and for my neighbor, Ashley who VOLUNTEERED to watch Noah for me during the yard sale so he wouldn't have to watch his toys being sold out from under him. :) Turns out his toys didn't really sell that well anyway, but I was still thankful that he was being entertained and I didn't have to keep him from...

I had a few minutes so I thought I'd share the Before Pics of our new house. They won't be impressive, but hopefully at the end of the rehab when I can show the After Pics, you'll be able to see where we came from. We've already done most of the demo, so I should go over and take pictures of that, but for now these are what the house looked like when we closed on it. This week hopefully the power will be turned on and we can really get going. First order of business will be the roof. Josh and Noah on the backhoe in the backyard. The patio room. Not sure if we want to turn this into a 3-season sunroom or keep it as part of the heated and cooled area. The entryway looking from the front door in to the house. The living room is to the immediate left, and the dining room is beyond that to the left. The bedrooms are down the hall to the right. The master bedroom. Tile is not our first choice for a bedroom, but it's pretty tile and we don't want to rip it all up, so ...

Tonight we said goodbye to a dear friend and Josh's best rehab worker. Joe Bundy and his wife are moving to Tennessee to be closer to family, and tonight was their last time at church. Noah will especially miss Mr. Bundy, aka "The Candy Man". Mr. Bundy keeps candy in his pockets at all times, and Noah had gotten to the point where he'd say, "Bundy Candy!" Since we don't have our parents living here in town with us, the Bundys have become sort of surrogate grandparents to Noah and we will really miss them! I don't think it has all sunk in that they're leaving yet. Goodbye, Bundys!

Our poor kitty has tried on so many names this week, and I think we're finally ready to commit to Tux. I just can't ignore that he looks to me like he has a little tuxedo on, and that darling bowtie marking on his lip seals it. Tux, it is!

Jen and I took the kids to the zoo yesterday for a fun morning out. The Lord knew I needed to get out of the house and be distracted for a while. And He showed me a little of His mercy even at the zoo! I usually see around 10 pregnant ladies every time I go to the zoo (if you have lived through infertility, you understand the significance of that statement and why I can tell you how many I see when I go out), but yesterday? Just three. The Lord knew what I could handle, and didn't give me any more than that. :) It was a blessing to me. Here are some pictures from the splash park at the zoo: EEEEEEEE!!!! Always ready to JUMP!

I had all these ideas of how I'd blog this, and now that I'm actually sitting down to do it, I'm drawing a blank. I don't really know where to begin. More importantly; once I begin, will I be able to stop? I am not pregnant. Those four words are ugly all put together like that. Jen and I were discussing at Bible Study on Tuesday night how sometimes you just don't even know what to say to God or how to express yourself, and so the Psalms are helpful to put into words the workings of our hearts. This is true of me today. When I found out this morning that we were not expecting, I just sat there for a few minutes and couldn't even think. I didn't even cry right away. I just sat there trying to pinpoint a single emotion swirling about in my heart. Sadness. Trust (yes, that was there!). Fear. Disappointment. Peace. Emptiness. "My soul weeps because of grief; strengthen me according to Your word." Ps 119:28 "Lord, all my desire is before You: and my...

This is another big thing that has happened in the last week or so... Hang on! For a while we have known that we really didn't want to afford our current house anymore. We bought it in 2006 while Josh was still working very successfully as a mortgage broker. At the time, we could totally afford it. No question. Now? Not so much. Here's what changed: 1. The same month we bought our house, Josh's mortgage company went under AND he lost a valuable partnership that had been bringing in tons of business. 2. Josh and I were just beginning to get our feet wet in the rehabbing business, and made some mistakes that cost us big time. We lost quite a bit of money over 2006-2007. 3. The real estate market's bubble burst and our house now is worth far less than what we paid for it. The bottom line: We need to move into something smaller (ie: more affordable). Last spring/summer we began looking for something we could afford and would like, and found a home that was being sold as a s...

You haven't heard from me in a while. This is because so much has been going on and I haven't had much time to blog. Over the next few days I plan to fill you in on our lives over the last week, so stay tuned! And of course at some point in this week we will find out if we are expecting again. Anyway, as a little diversion, I went yard saleing (that can't be how you spell that. I don't think "sale" was ever intended to be a verb. Oh well.). And do you hear this? I went by myself. This is key! Josh was able to stay home with Noah while I went out for a blissful 45 minutes of yard sales that culminated.... with THIS! Isn't he CUTE?!?! The final yard sale I went to had free kittens. And I have never been able to resist kittens! Somehow all my bad memories of Casper went out the window and I was oohing and ahhing over this little ball of fluff. I called Josh for approval, and brought him home. The lady assured me that I had picked the one that would be the bes...

Noah loves to do things by himself. And more importantly, he likes to feel like he did it himself, even if he didn't really do it himself. He'll try to buckle himself in his carseat, fumble around, finally ask for help and then exclaim triumphantly after I buckle him in, "I DID it!" Big smiles. :) And it got me to wondering if maybe God has the same experience with us as His children. If we like to take all the credit for performing a task that HE helped us with (or did Himself!). The strength for making it through another day, accomplishing our goals in less time than we thought, or having enough money for another month of expenses. Did we really do it? Probably not. These thoughts make me thankful for a God who loves me and who works things out for my good and His glory. And makes me a little more careful to thank Him for His goodness when I'm tempted to shout, "I DID it!"

I wanted to document that today at lunch I caught Noah putting chips in his pocket. I noticed he had been asking for a lot of chips (they were Sunchips Multigrain, okay? Not Lay's-Steeped-In-Oil chips. I'm just saying.), but I hadn't heard a whole lot of crunching coming from him. Then he said, "Pocket!" "What's in your pocket, Noah?" Chips. Saving them for later? I have no idea.