My Ebenezer

This is a short version of Eden's birth story, a little of my recovery, and how we chose her name. Birth Story and Recovery (the rosy, less messy version): We had planned a c-section for November 15, due to my having had 2 prior c-sections--the magic number when it comes to the possibility of natural birth, at least with my set of doctors.  During the final weeks of pregnancy I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and ready to give birth, so I started praying that I'd go into labor on my own.  I didn't really think it would happen, in part because Noah and Seth were both born on their due dates, and my c-section was scheduled for the 15th, two days prior to my due date. Thursday, November 10 started out normally. I did a major grocery shopping trip, cleaned out and vacuumed our car, put away clutter, and mopped the kitchen floor (nesting much?).  I then laid down propped myself up for a short nap.  When I woke up at 3pm, I felt a little crampy, so I decide...

"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:4-5 I used to wonder how a person could know when their quiver was full.  I'd overhear moms conversing at the park. Always nonchalant, but always adamant, as if the choice were really up to them; "Oh, we are so done.  No more kids for us." I'd puzzle over that for a while because no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't relate.  All I've ever known through my married life is the pining after children.  One, then two, then a third.  I thought I would never be satisfied, like the barren womb in Proverbs which never cries, "Enough!"  I thought that I'd always want one more.  Even when I was pregnant with Noah and then with Seth, I'd feel pangs of heartache at the thought that this could be the last time I...

Way to leave a blog mid-story and go dark for 6 months, right? I have no excuse for myself except to say let's just pick up and move on, shall we?  It would help me if I didn't have to recap all of what has happened in the last half year. The Lord answered those prayers way back in March, and I'm now almost 7 months pregnant with...a baby GIRL!  I can't begin to tell you how excited we are to welcome a girl into our family in mid-November, Lord-willing. And now, let's get back to what this blog has been about: sharing my thoughts, events, and lessons learned. Stay tuned!

Sometimes I wonder at the Lord's ways. “For My thoughts are not  your thoughts, Nor are  your ways My ways,” declares the  Lord . 9  “For  as  the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9 I find myself, less than eight weeks after my miracle pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage, miscarrying again .  Another miraculous pregnancy, another miscarriage, right on the heels of the last one.  I don't really have all that much to say about all this that I haven't already said  in my previous post ...   Except this.  I don't think it's a coincidence at all that the very day I began miscarrying this time, Seth said his first complete thought; a two-word sentence.  "Don't cry."  Clear as day, from the mouth of my little 19-month-old son, a precious reminder to my aching heart that God has this too under His sovereign control. Thank you, Lord...

One week ago, I found out I was pregnant.  Yes, you read that right.  And yes, this is still me we're talking about here.  The me who has been trying for more than 10 years, who so far has only been successful with the aid of intense medical help and God's tremendous grace.  The very same me who had been told by doctors that it would never happen.  Just woke up one day, miraculously pregnant. I had been feeling strange in the days leading up to it, had even told Josh, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was pregnant."  Just kind of queasy for no apparent reason.  On Tuesday at 10a.m., all I could think about was how heavenly a nap would be, and I took a long one that afternoon.  Unheard of.  Wednesday morning at 5a.m. I decided to take the test, just so I could go back to sleep and quit thinking, "what if?"  Only, I saw two beautiful pink lines and never went back to sleep anyway. Me , PREGNANT?!?! What a gift!  What ...

He's finally here! Our little boy Seth Marshall was born on November 19 at 6:37a.m.  And praise the Lord for c-sections, is all I can say. :). A brief birth story: We came home from church Sunday night and began our routine; showers for Josh and Noah, and a little computer time for me. About 9:30pm I was  scanning my Facebook updates, when all of a sudden my water broke. (Boy does that ever make a mess! I was so thankful I was in the privacy of my own home and not still at church.) Joel and Hannah happened to be visiting on their way further south,which turned out to be an even bigger blessing because we knew we could leave Noah with them.  I began doing all the things on my list (pack my suitcase, take a shower, etc) and timing contractions.  Everyone went to bed, and I lay down too, though sleep was out of the question with contractions every 5 minutes. By 3;45am I couldn't stand it anymore--contractions were every 3 minutes and extremely painful...

39 weeks.  We went in for an ultrasound today, and they estimate the baby is currently 9lbs 13oz and not interested in coming out anytime soon!  (The margin of error is about 15% in either direction, so the baby could be smaller or bigger than that: probably between 8.3lbs and 11.2lbs right now.)  I am 1cm dilated, but not effaced a bit, and his head is still very much "floating" and not engaged at all. So. The plan for now is to wait it out another week (please, Lord, let him come this week!!!), and if there's still nothing happening at my next appointment on my due date, we'll probably go ahead and schedule a c-section for sometime after that.  If you could pray that I go into labor on my own, and--miracle of miracles--be able to deliver on my own, I would greatly appreciate it! P.S. We got to see his little face!  I cried. :)

Today I am 37 weeks; officially full-term.  It could be any time now, folks...  Except for the fact that I went to the doctor today and he said everything is still closed up tight and the baby hasn't dropped deep into my pelvis yet.  ("Oh really?  Tell that to my bladder!" I wanted to say)  So it looks like it will be a few more weeks still.  Here are some fun facts while we wait: So far I have gained...drumroll please... 23 pounds!  And I know exactly where each and every one of those pounds resides. :) I still crave ice to no end. Almost everyone I see these days says something like, "Oh it won't be long now!" or "Any day, huh?"  It's like my identity has changed from "Joanna" to "Big Belly."  They're shocked when they hear I have 3 weeks left. I have had 3 different strangers say, "You're having a boy, aren't you?"  How can they tell? It is hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact t...

Do any of you have trouble believing that I have SIX WEEKS left?  Can I get any bigger?  Can my lung capacity shrink any more?  I do love being pregnant, but I have to say things are getting a little...tight. Finding something suitable to wear has become challenging.  I am not a fan of the bulging-belly-button look, but I'm having to embrace it.  Short of clasping my hands in front of my belly and leaving them there for the next six weeks, I just can't hide it anymore.  Also, many of my maternity shirts have become too short to fit over my belly, and a couple times I have caught glimpses in a mirror of my belly peeking out from under.  Charming.  Time to pull out the tents! :) Should I even admit this next one?  True to form from my last pregnancy ***whispering now*** I have started to grow a beard!  Gasp!  I said it!  Thankfully it's blond, and thankfully if I wear my hair down next to my face I can hide it pretty wel...

Here are the answers to some of the questions I've been asked over the last few weeks: Q: How are you feeling? A: (There are many possible answers to this one depending on when you ask me, so I'll give them all) Great! Like I have a bowling ball strapped to me.  Beautiful.  Like a beached whale. Energetic.  Exhausted. Hungry. Stuffed.  Emotional.  Elated.  But isn't that the truth with anyone you ask that question to?  It's just pregnant people get asked a whole lot more than everyone else. Q:  How does Noah like school? A:  Noah seems to like it a lot.  I couldn't have said that in the first couple of weeks when he was adjusting to the longer schedule and when he was coming home with less-than-stellar behavior marks (thankfully we were able to correct his behavior, and he has been doing much better).  He has learned to read much more proficiently over the last few weeks, and he loves to show me that he can read something. ...

31 weeks.  That's me!  I had another OB appointment today, with less than good news.  In addition to the fact that I gained 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks (she said, as she stuffed another fun-sized Kit Kat bar into her mouth.  Really, I just did.), I was informed that I failed my one-hour glucose test by 7 points.  Do you know what that means?  Yup, three hour test, coming right up.  Unless, that is, I can come up with a way to get out of it.  The doctor also told me that I'm anemic, which comes as no surprise due to how tired I've been feeling, and how I can't get enough ice (craving ice is a sign of anemia).  Other than those things, I've been doing pretty well.  

The other day I had someone ask me if I was sure I wasn't having twins because I am so big.  Followed a few days later by my dental hygienist telling me I was "so tiny" and she couldn't believe I was almost seven months pregnant.  Hmmm...  Whom do I believe?  Well, regardless, I have about 2 and a half months left of this pregnancy (is that all?) and I'm enjoying it.  Here are a few of the recent developments: The baby is starting to really pack a punch when he moves. Ouch! I am getting more and more breathless.  The pregnancy exercise videos that I used to yawn at are now giving me a run for my money and making me sweat.  Singing is becoming a challenge, as is walking anywhere fast or getting up off the floor. I crave ice.  I've seriously thought about going to Sonic or Chick-Fil-A (they have the nicest ice for chewing) and just ordering a large cup of ice.  I wonder how much they would charge? Also among the cravings are ice crea...

As of Tuesday this week, I am 27 weeks pregnant.  Two-thirds of the way there already!  I continue to feel great, praise the Lord, and I continue to crave peaches. :)  Sleeping has become more of a challenge, as is finding space for all my pillows in our bed.  I'm trying to savor every moment and document as much as I can.

Isn't he cute?  I love the little nose! Biased, I guess. :)   We went for our 21 week ultrasound on Wednesday. After waiting what seemed an eternity (made longer by the fact that they make you drink 24oz of water 2 hours before the exam and then hold it AND THEN they were an hour late getting me into the room), I was at long last examined.  There was a bit of suspense at first, as the technician told me the baby's foot was in the way, but finally she said, "It's a boy!"  Praise the Lord, he looks healthy and normal.  He weighs approximately 1.2 lbs now, which is normal for this point.  That was a relief, that at least he's not huge right now.  For those that don't remember, Noah weighed 10lbs 4oz at birth, and I'm trying to avoid a repeat of that experience. :) So that's a look at Baby Boy.  Now, here's me at 21 weeks: Amazingly enough, though I've been pigging out on ice cream and peaches (I cannot get enough peaches!), I have ...

I hit 17 weeks this past Tuesday.  I cannot tell you how happy I have been to be in the second trimester these last few weeks.   This is pregnancy like I remember it to be!  Stuff to report: 1. Last Friday two people who don't know me asked if I was pregnant.  This is a big step, because it tells me that I no longer look chunky, and am starting to look pregnant.  Always a relief!  Who wants to look chunky? 2.  I have been feeling the baby move off and on for a couple of weeks.  More off than on, really, but still; it's special when it happens! 3.  I am now HUNGRY pretty much all the time.  Melon or peaches always sound good, as does just about any food group.  I'm not picky these days. 4.  I have started exercising again, which is good, except it makes me HUNGRY.  See # 3. :) 5.  Almost everyone is asking if we plan to find out if we are having a boy or a girl.  YES.  Our ultrasound appointment...

13 weeks. For a few weeks there, I have to be honest: blogging just wasn't doing it for me anymore.  I would sit down at the computer, stare at it, turn it off, and go lie down.  I would think to myself, "I should take a picture of that." and then not care enough to go get the camera.  I wasn't myself.  Blame the pregnancy, or blame one of the 4 illnesses I have had since I found out I was pregnant (sick much?).  But hopefully I'm past all that now.  I'm 13 weeks, and I have noticed my morning sickness is not as bad, and Lord-willing this week I will also be able to put this 4th illness (nasal congestion combined with a monster sore throat) behind me. We had company over for dinner last night, which did me a world of good.  It forced me to clean up, for one (!), but it also reminded me that I used to do this!  I used to make a coherent, nutritious dinner for my family and other people and invite them into my home.  It helped me to ...

Maybe you've noticed my lack of blog posts these last few weeks.  I have so much I'm behind on, and this blog is just one of those things. I keep meaning to take a few videos of Noah reading, reciting memory verses, singing, and just talking to me. I can't tell you how precious are the videos of him from past years.  I literally do forget what he was like and it's so much fun to go back and view his babyhood and toddler years.  I imagine it will be the same for his preschool years as well--I know one day I'll forget what Noah was like at 4 years old and it's important to me to remember. I have several books I wanted to write reviews about.  Recipes, too.  And my house?  Wow. I can't remember the last time I was this behind on cleaning. I feel like I'm behind on life in general.  I don't remember feeling this way during my last pregnancy; this watching life go by as a spectator who catches glimpses of it in between countless naps and sips of g...

Today I banished my crock pot from the kitchen.  I moved it to the top of the washing machine in the garage, where the wafting aroma stench of onions and beef wouldn't threaten to kill me.  Side note: when you're pregnant, there are very few aromas anymore.  Just lots of stenches.  It makes life interesting. But on another note, all complaining aside; pregnancy is an amazing thing, and I am so privileged to be able to experience it again, because it reminds me of the miraculous power of God.  "Just as you do not know...how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things."  Eccl 11:5.  I read this passage today and marveled.  I have wondered, just recently in fact, how God makes bones in a little child in my womb.  Miraculous.  He teaches the spider to make a web, perfect every time.  The Bible tells us God takes care of the animals, causes grass to grow on unseen hil...

(me at 8weeks. I can see a bump. ;) For the past year or so I have been following a housecleaning plan, with great success, called Motivated Moms.  This lady is great!  She takes all the household chores (and I do mean all) and divvies them up so that you do a little each day--maybe an hour total--and you never have to face an entire day of cleaning your house from top to bottom. Only trouble is, lately since morning sickness hit, I've been rather...unmotivated.  It's Freezer Food City around here at supper time (ie: what can I pull out of the freezer and stick directly into the oven that I don't have to look at or smell?).  Cleaning up the kitchen after a meal likewise is less-than-appealing, and so recently I had to buckle down and Just Do It after it had been a mess for *cough* days.  And dusting? Cleaning the bathrooms? I think a nap sounds much better.  I trust that once I hit the second trimester, things will get better.  But in the mean...

I had my second ultrasound this morning.  The baby has doubled in size since last week, and its little heart was still going strong!  Praise the Lord for faithfully growing our little baby. As for me?  I feel pregnant. Wonderfully pregnant.  That's code for sick as a dog. :)  Nausea is my almost-constant companion, but I'm so thankful because I know everything is fine.  The only food that sounds palatable to me (at least for today) is pizza.  Check out what I did at lunchtime when pb&j sounded revolting:   That's sauce and cheese on a soft tortilla!  You do what you gotta do. Praise the Lord for a good report this morning!  And pass the pizza please....