My Ebenezer

For the first time in over 9 years, all of my kids are now in school. Three different kids, three different schools; this can get logistically complicated, but that's just how we're rolling. Noah rides his electric scooter to and from his high school (!!! When did that happen?), Seth is attending 3rd grade at GRASP Academy (his last year there, perhaps, before he switches to Harvest?), and Eden is enthusiastically enrolled in morning Preschool at a church down the road from us. But my point was that for the first time in nine years, I finally feel like I can breathe again for a minute. Like I can come up for air. Maybe mop the floor and listen to classical music, a sermon, or an audio book while I do so. Draw, paint, blog, dust the furniture (I think I remember how to do that?), purge a closet, shower uninterrupted, and b r e a t h e. It's magical.  I think it's marvelous how the Lord works differently in different people's lives, giving them graces and even person...

 In this plate-spinning life I lead (and I admit, I'm not as busy as some other moms I know) it's easy for me to let months go by without updating what is going on. Well it's time for a check-in! This (above) is how I spend most mornings after the boys have gone to school (I should post my routine sometime--that's always a scintillating read! Ha!). Eden and I have what we call Eden and Mommy Time. Original and clever, I know. This is time that is largely spent doing what Eden wants to do, whether that is building with blocks, playing with play-doh, coloring, painting with watercolors (my favorite!), baking a dessert, going to the park, or whatnot. She enjoys the undivided attention immensely.  So many things to say about the simple picture above: My kids go through phases and are into forts these days. Specifically, pillow forts. They frequently summon up all the pillows from every corner of the house and make divided forts in the living room. It's great fun for the...

Have you ever been to a restaurant with a menu so extensive that there are multiple pages and maybe even a table of contents? Or a buffet which offers everything from surf and turf to Chinese to pizza to Beef Stroganoff and everything in between? Do you know what is usually true about these places? They dabble in so many offerings and varieties that they don't do any of it really well. How is the steak at these places? It's ho hum. How about their pizza? Same.  You want a good burger? You probably don't order it here. No, you should go to a restaurant that specializes in burgers. And for pity's sake, don't go to a Burgers-and-Fries restaurant and order a salad; you'll be disappointed for sure!  Wilted iceberg, mealy tomatoes, and some anemic cucumber slices, anyone?  Where am I going with this?  Well, in a lot of ways I was that restaurant these last two years; specializing in so many things that I wasn't doing any of them well. Cooking, cleaning, trying to ...

This morning the Lord worked on my behalf in a big way, and I need to write it down so that Future Me can be encouraged. I wish I could change the names and circumstances to avoid embarrassment, but I can't. Instead, I asked Noah if I could write about it, and he said "Yes. Just don't post it on Facebook." Roger that. It was 9:47am, and I had just called Noah in from outside to give him some further instructions with Eden, so I could give Seth a Reading lesson without interruption. As Noah was standing at the door, he began what I call "man-handling" Eden, which means he was trying to forcibly get her to do what he thought she should be doing, which was to stay on the mat and not get the floor muddy. A good goal, but man-handling never goes well. It doesn't leave the one being forced feeling all rosy and teachable. It usually backfires and causes even more of a fight. Not only does it NOT work, it is also sinful. Plus, I was standing right there. I...

We've been strugglin' over here in Homeschool Land. Assignments missed or done half-heartedly, subsequent discipline crack-downs completely and hopelessly ineffective...it's been extremely discouraging actually. And then I thought maybe a reward would be better than a crack-down. (I know, many of you have suggested as much to me and are probably smacking your foreheads at me right now.) So last week, I wrote out all of Noah's assignments and extra-curricular expectations on a checklist and told him that if everything was checked off (and verifiably done in totality) by Friday, I would take him to Starbucks, Just Him, and we would get a coffee together.  And he did it! Every question answered, every quiz taken, every page done.  So above is the photo we took when at last we were able to sit down at a table and enjoy our reward.  Confession: I think this is our first alone "date" we have had since before Seth was born! It was long overdue. In all of the s...

We were discussing the topic of Contentment in our Sunday evening service last Sunday. The subject of money came up as we looked at 1 Tim 6:6-10, where it talks about godliness with contentment being great gain, and also about the love of money. Pastor asked, "So how would we know if we are trying to find our contentment in money?" and the floor was opened up for comments.  Noah raised his hand, which was a surprise to me (normally he doesn't comment), and was called on. I was momentarily glad he was entering the discussion and genuinely interested in his comment. But then, from our newly twelve-year-old son's mouth, came the three words that have the potential to strike the most fear in the heart of any parent. Noah began his comment with "My mom says..." Pause. I tell you, in the nanosecond that it took for Noah to get to the next word in that sentence, time. stood. still. I was paralyzed in my chair and heat surged into my cheeks as my addled brain ...

I was nine years old when The Little Mermaid was released in theaters, and it quickly rose to the top of my list of favorite movies. I could sing every song, and in the summers ever after--until I grew too old to admit that I was doing such a thing--I pretended to be a mermaid. Swam underwater with my legs tight together and everything. Now I have 3 kids, and though they have no idea who The Little Mermaid is, the water seems to allure them just as much as it did me. They can't wait to get their swimsuits on and jump in, though they aren't pretending to be mermaids, I guarantee you. They're boys, after all, and have much more in common with Indiana Jones than Ariel. But I digress. I love pictures like the one above because it's like a digital time capsule. I'll file it away and then in five years, revisit it and not be able to believe how little they were. I love/hate that feeling. These are my kids with Matt and Jen's kids, and also some friends from chu...

The irony in a Mother's Day picture like this one is that the most influential contributors to my motherhood are not even pictured! Those would be God and my husband, as well as my own mom. Years I spent at God's feet, asking for children. Look at how He's answered! These kids are far from what I imagined in terms of personality, and also I had No Idea what I was getting myself into with parenting in general. God knew that. But when I see this photo, I see myriad answered prayers. Thank you, God! God is still giving me grace and strength each day. I pray He will turn my messy efforts into something beautiful one day. Josh is the one who snapped this photo. And the other 5 before it. Truth be told, he could have kept going! I know we're not the only family who can't get a decent photo the first time. He's also the one who helps keep my sanity when, by 8:30pm, I'm about to lose it. He's an excellent putter-to-bedder, the best jungle gym and airpla...

Yesterday about this time, I let out a sigh of relief that rivaled any of the previous ones on record. WE FINISHED SCHOOL WITH GOD'S HELP!! Noah finished 6th grade, Seth finished Kindergarten, and hopefully Eden finished her turn as my loose cannon, though I can't say for sure on that one yet. We did go out for milkshakes to celebrate the victory God gave. About mid-September last year, a mere 2 weeks into school, I didn't think I could or even should go on homeschooling. Almost every day since then, I fought a battle in my mind. I can't do this. God can equip me to do this. I don't want to do this. I must do this. Isn't there another way? Big yellow bus, where are you?  I can say, looking back, that God is the only one to whom credit is due for completing this year. It is only by His grace. I'm not really ready to comment beyond that on this past school year. We'll see what God has in store for next year!

We don't often visit the skate park at our local park. There are several reasons, none of which sound good or reasonable to my 11-year-old.  So when Noah asked me last week for the twelfth time if we could go to the skate park, I made an appointment to take him and Seth at 8:30 the following Saturday. (I figured that was before it got too hot, and also before the tattooed, pierced, smoking, and usually foul-mouthed crowd that usually hangs out there would show up.) We wrote it on the calendar for all to see. In the interest of honesty, I'm going to tell you that I dreaded this event all week long. No lingering over coffee in my nightgown over here! Well, as strongly as I dreaded it, my boys looked forward to it. Noah kept checking with me every evening to remind me that I had promised to take them to the skate park on Saturday. And this morning he couldn't wait.  We arrived at 8:29, and there was just one group of people there: a family with boys their ages. Must ha...

My whole body just released a sigh of relief as I watched my trusty blog template open up a fresh page for me to write on. Can you believe I've been writing in here for 10 years? Josh took the kids to Academy to buy some soccer cleats for the boys, and so I am sitting in my favorite IKEA chair by my bed. I've turned on classical music, and I'm just soaking it in. My soul needs some soothing today. For reasons I can't fully explain, I have been really depressed lately. God is good; I intellectually assent to that fact, but in the details comprising each long day you wouldn't be able to tell that from my life or attitude. I am trying to home school Noah (6th grade) and Seth (Kindergarten) and still manage Eden. I think back to the year Noah and I began home schooling. He was in 2nd grade, my gap-toothed little academic sponge. We loved it. Four years later, home schooling has disintegrated into a flimsy imitation of what it used to be. If I'm going to be hones...

I posted this picture on Facebook with a caption that read "Last day of school! Fifth grade is complete." I went my way and a little while later it occurred to me that I hadn't mentioned the Lord or given Him credit of any kind! I went back to my post and added that I'm thankful for God's grace.  Sometimes I am startled by my lack of God-consciousness that is manifest in my life every day.  Lord, help me always think on You! But anyway, it is truly only by God's grace that we made it through this year. Probably the number one challenge this year was Eden.  I followed a schedule that we loved at the beginning of the year, but its demise was its heavy reliance on Eden's morning nap.  Mid-Novermber, when Eden gave up that nap, we struggled for several weeks fitting in things like Bible reading, Chemistry/Physics class for Noah, and basic housecleaning (dirty dishes for days!). I'll be honest; I also struggled with my attitude during those weeks.  Wha...

Jen and I were talking last night about how easy it is to forget whole stages and seasons of your life.  She recounted that she had found an old journal from 2014 and had read the entries about her kids.  Libby was just 2 years old.  In the trenches of that situation (with 4 kids ranging in age from 1 to 5), no doubt she thought she'd never forget some of those times.  The reality is that, though she may never forget that her theme from that era was "exhaustion" or "dependence on God," she had forgotten that Libby used to grunt at people and other such things.  It made me remember that I have a blog, that this place is so useful, that when I want to, I can look back and remember the events that I thought I'd never be able to forget, and yet I do.  So here's what I need to remember for now: 1. We made cards for Josh's birthday yesterday, and I, in a moment of uncharacteristic abandon, let the kids haul out my big craft box; the one with all the s...

In this post, I'm going to show you 3 photos that were taken today (actually, by now it was yesterday), which may or may not sum up a normal day for us.   Today in Chemistry and Physics class (did you ever in your life think I would teach Chemistry and Physics???) we were studying the different states of matter.  One of Noah's favorite parts of the Apologia curriculum is all the experiments and hands-on activities that are suggested and embedded in the reading assignments.  Today one of our experiments was to make sorbet out of fruit juice, using a couple of ziploc bags, ice, and a boatload of salt.  It turned out great, and Noah loved it! Now, as a side note, the above is one of those pictures (actually all three of these are) that people post on Facebook, and then everyone and their brother looks at that and says, "Oh, what a nice day they had homeschooling.  I wish we did fun projects like that. He looks so happy and content.  Why is my homeschoo...

Sometimes I look over at Noah and cannot believe he's 10.  When I cut his hair and I see his shoulders, broader than ever.  He's growing up (this sounds trite) right before my eyes. We began 5th grade last Monday, on the 28th of August.  Fifth. Grade.  Lord, I pray for grace to continue to mold this boy into the man You'd desire him to be!

(It has taken me weeks to write this post! As a result, some of it is old news by now.) On Fridays, Josh takes Noah with him to work. He's been doing this since Eden was born partly to give me a break, and partly because it is so good for Noah to learn things about Josh's business and how to deal with a variety of people and problems.  Noah gets one-on-one time with his dad, learns (hopefully) how to work hard, and I get some time with just Pep (aka Seth) and Eden.  There is zero fighting from the kids all day long when Noah is gone, which is a great reprieve for this mom-turned-referee. Last Sunday we had some missionaries at church who are trying to raise support to go to Japan.  They brought with them several origami cranes, as well as other paper crafts, including something like what is pictured above.  From way back in the recesses of my mind, a memory surfaced.  When I was in fourth grade, when my friends and I weren't busy trading funky-shaped eras...

Well, here I am again!  Every so often I get the urge to write; usually when I've just read something I wrote about in the past and thus remember something I would have otherwise completely forgotten. Also, it turns out that writing has a similar affect on me as eating chocolate does, without all the extra calories and guilt. Win-win. My life has drastically changed in the last three months.  I now homeschool a fourth grader, try to entertain my four-year-old while sneaking in some preschool work when he's not looking (he gets suspicious if he thinks he's actually learning), and somehow balance the needs of a 3-month-old. Plus the other housework and wife stuff added in for good measure around the edges. I'm not bored fo' sho! Here are some highlights of what thrills me these days: I'm so thankful that Eden sleeps through the night now! My sanity has returned, and with it some semblance of clear thinking. I still have moments where I lock myse...

Noah appeared from his room this morning while I was reading my Bible, and found two wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree.  One bearing his name, one with Seth's. "Why does Seth get the biggest one?" came the inevitable question. Human nature, and I had seen it coming. Had predicted the night before that he would say exactly that. Like any normal parent, I said something snide like, "If you're not going to be thankful, I'll just return it to the store and you won't get anything."  Who hasn't heard that from their parent's mouth at least once? It has a way of nipping in the bud any more unthankful comments. I went back to my Bible reading in Deuteronomy 8.  I had been reading all about the faithfulness of God in leading the Israelites through the desert; how He gave them manna which they knew not, to test them, to show them what was in their hearts.  To remind them that man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds ...

Noah begs me every year to carve a pumpkin.  Ah, yes, carving pumpkins.  Immediately this evokes dreamy images of crunchy leaves and crisp air, of lattes with harvesty-sounding names, of scarves and silvery breath-vapor early in the morning.  Then I snap back to reality as I remember that I am, in fact, sweating (which may have more to do with the hot flashes that currently beset me, but that's beside the point).  It is 83 degrees, which means the said carved pumpkin will last a whopping 3 days before it melts into an orange puddle of moldy pumpkin goo.  Such is pumpkin carving in Florida. :) That, and have you ever noticed how much work it is to carve a pumpkin?  How much mess ?  And did you notice how Noah always asks if WE can carve a pumpkin, when he actually means "YOU, MOM"?  He has good intentions.  He shows up with the knife and the gargantuan metal spoon, smiling all eager and ready, but at the first sign of this-will-take-long...

I finally cleaned out my camera with pictures from who-knows-how-long ago, and found this photo from the first day of school this year.  A few noteworthy things: 1.  Those are Noah's fingers giving himself bunny ears. 2.  This is an illustration of Noah's "loop-hole" mentality; always pushing the limits.  We had just taken a photo 3 seconds ago, in which he had given ME bunny ears. When I was previewing the shot (praise the Lord for digital photos!  Remember when you had to wait for the film to be developed to find out you had your eyes closed?) and saw the bunny ears, I said, "Don't give me bunny ears! Here, let's take it again."  So that's him, not giving me bunny ears. Nice. 3.  That's me, growing my hair out.  And me, almost deciding to cut it again.  For the life of me, I can't get it to quit flipping out. But, we press on. :) 4.  Noah has lost a few more teeth since this photo.  They change so quickly these days! ...