My Ebenezer

 Josh was invited by our church to go on a mission trip to New York City Feb 7-Feb 12. He was excited to go, and I was excited to send him. I don't mind time by myself (introvert much?) and I love the thought of him putting his construction skills to work for a church-plant up there. Plus it's only 6 days we're apart. Many people are apart much longer than that. However, I wasn't prepared for all of the decision-making that comes with single parenting. I knew there would be the getting-up and the putting-to-bed that naturally comes with parenting. The homework helping and dinner conversations, the carting to-and-from birthday parties and sports practices, and the overseeing of chores. But I was unaware of just how many times I defer to Josh for decisions. "That's a dad question," I'll say to a child of mine, who is wondering if he can sleep over at a friend's house. Often I tell them to ask Josh because my default answer is "No" and I kno...

This morning the Lord worked on my behalf in a big way, and I need to write it down so that Future Me can be encouraged. I wish I could change the names and circumstances to avoid embarrassment, but I can't. Instead, I asked Noah if I could write about it, and he said "Yes. Just don't post it on Facebook." Roger that. It was 9:47am, and I had just called Noah in from outside to give him some further instructions with Eden, so I could give Seth a Reading lesson without interruption. As Noah was standing at the door, he began what I call "man-handling" Eden, which means he was trying to forcibly get her to do what he thought she should be doing, which was to stay on the mat and not get the floor muddy. A good goal, but man-handling never goes well. It doesn't leave the one being forced feeling all rosy and teachable. It usually backfires and causes even more of a fight. Not only does it NOT work, it is also sinful. Plus, I was standing right there. I...

This was our Christmas picture this year. It was taken in early December when we went on a camping trip to the Florida Keys. That vacation was like an oasis in a drought, and so I love seeing this image; it refreshes me.  The whole trip was studded with God's kindness and blessings, and I wanted to make sure I recorded them here. Being a journaler, I've already recorded many of the blessings in my paper journal, but I thought it would be nice to remember them here too. I'm sure there were more items that I've failed to notice, but here are the big ones that we want to remember: 1. The weather was gorgeous! Sunny, highs in the 70s, beautiful evenings. 2. Lots of conversation time for Josh and me in the camper while travelling. We logged quite a number of hours on the road for this trip, thankfully not all in a day or two, but spread out over the course of a week. Josh drove the whole time, and most of the time I was able to sit in the passenger seat and talk with hi...

Noah appeared from his room this morning while I was reading my Bible, and found two wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree.  One bearing his name, one with Seth's. "Why does Seth get the biggest one?" came the inevitable question. Human nature, and I had seen it coming. Had predicted the night before that he would say exactly that. Like any normal parent, I said something snide like, "If you're not going to be thankful, I'll just return it to the store and you won't get anything."  Who hasn't heard that from their parent's mouth at least once? It has a way of nipping in the bud any more unthankful comments. I went back to my Bible reading in Deuteronomy 8.  I had been reading all about the faithfulness of God in leading the Israelites through the desert; how He gave them manna which they knew not, to test them, to show them what was in their hearts.  To remind them that man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds ...

In parenting, sometimes I wonder if all the everything is worth it--will be worth it--in the end.  And then I have a conversation like the one below, and it is. Worth it, I mean. Me, getting Seth ready for pseudo naptime (you know, where I put him down and he doesn't sleep, but it makes me feel better to do so anyway?).  I sing "Away in a Manger". All three verses.  Afterward, Seth: "Why Jesus have no bed?" Me: "Well, there was no room for Him in any of the hotels. God planned it that way, and Jesus had to be born with all the animals." Seth: "He should come sleep in my bed!" I tell you, it makes all the stuff I deal with on a regular basis worth it.  

This morning while Josh and Noah were at a church work day, Seth wanted to watch "George Muh'mee" (George the Monkey).  I'm trying to keep him from turning into a couch potato at the early age of two, so we wandered out into our yard instead to see what we could do with ourselves.   It's been hotter than I like November to be, but I remind myself that we live in Florida and we do have some gorgeous winters, even if summer does last 9 months. :) After a while, I glanced down at the base of our lamp post and saw that it was surrounded by weeds.  I focused my attention from there to the whole yard, and was astonished to see weeds everywhere.  I've seen them before I guess; every day in fact, as I go and come from our various busyness.  But I've ignored them, let them grow, seen them as synonymous with grass (they're both green!), until now they're almost choking out the grass that is trying to grow.  I took a deep breath and knelt down to begin pull...

Noah filled up a superstar card this morning. He can earn superstars for outstanding behavior or attitudes, and when he earns 12 on his punchcard, he can turn it in for something special.  In the past we have gone bowling, mini-golfing, or out for ice cream as a family.  This time, we got a fish!  Meet Johnny Appleseed (that's the fish).  And that is the face of one excited little boy!

In my previous post, I alluded to the fact that before we had kids I thought I had All The Answers about parenting and that now, well, I don't.  Our church has been offering a parenting class on Sunday afternoons, and it has been most eye-opening.  Embarrassing actually, as I mentally replay all our mistakes and shortcomings, which have conspicuously displayed themselves in my children's lives like the proverbial elephant in the room.  Large, smelly, and generally hard to ignore.  Funny how my mistakes make themselves evident in my kids' lives. Today's lesson was on giving too many freedoms too early to children (called "parenting outside the funnel"), and then the little cherubs end up ruling the house and doing whatever it is they please.  I only heard bits and pieces of the lesson, because I was in the nursery with the littles, listening when I could on the speaker.  But in between refereeing squabbles (did you know it doesn't really matter who had i...

There are these witty little one-liners that get passed around Facebook.  No one really knows who comes up with them, and I'm sure they get modified depending on who is passing them on, but entertaining they are.  I have my favorites; for example, I love this one: "Cleaning the house with children around is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos."  or on the subject of marriage, "Just a tip: No woman ever started an argument with a man while he was dusting, vacuuming, or washing dishes." But the one that has resurfaced in my mind repeatedly because of its profound truth and perfect summation is this one:  "Having a toddler is like having a blender with no lid."  How true that is. And life has become even more...shall we say, "lid-less" since Seth learned that stools and chairs can be used to reach anything , and bonus: that stools and chairs can be moved to any location , allowing the possibilities of destruction to multiply exponen...

Several weeks (months?) back I posted a prayer request regarding Noah and his utter lack of respect for our authority in his young life.  Josh and I have been praying daily for him, and over the last couple of weeks we've seen a real change in him that I had to write about!  One day a different management method just seemed to dawn on Josh, and he told Noah that for every time he was told to do or not do something, he must say "Yes, Daddy (or Mommy)."  If he did not, he would get a strike.  Three strikes and he would be "out" and we would jump to a new level of discipline. Unbelievably, it has worked!  We have only had to go to the higher level of discipline about once a week for this offense, and now we do not have to remind him repeatedly to show respect; he just does it.  This has translated into a night-and-day difference in our parenting experience with Noah.  Not only that, but Noah seems generally happier too.  I can only give credit to G...

So, in our backyard, these are referred to as "prickly pears".  Probably not the scientific name for these spiny, very prickly, painful-to-step-on seed pods that fall from our backyard trees in prolific amounts, but it's what we call them nonetheless.  And Seth eats them.  No, wait, maybe you didn't read that right:   he eats them.   Actually eats the prickers off and swallows them, until the pod is almost smooth.  I found this out one day when I had to pry I-knew-not-what out of his mouth, and vaguely recognized the soggy mess to be the remains of a prickly pear. Don't believe me? Now, what I don't understand (and somebody please clue me in!) is this:  Why does he eat those ghastly things, but will not touch a grilled cheese sandwich? One of life's mysteries....

The 365 Project has been good for me.  It forces me to remember my camera and to take pictures of the rapidly fleeting moments that make up our lives.  However, one thing I have noticed is that it takes away from the writing about our lives, which is also important.  With a focus on only the moments you photographed (ie: the highlights of life--because who photographs the hard times?), I find I don't get an accurate representation of the year going by.  So I thought I'd write a little about the challenges of parenting that we're presently facing in our lives, just to keep it real. Take Noah for example.  (While I normally shy away from showing everyone's true colors, I think I would do myself a disservice if I look back on this time of our lives and think everything was rosy.  It's not.)  Here is a child who, once upon a time, was the happiest guy I knew.  He smiled at everybody, never met a stranger, and charmed everyone he met.  Fast for...

Noah with a play-doh helicopter I loved summer as a girl.  Who could beat the giddy endless string of Friday afternoons?  In the car on the way home from Noah's last day of Kindergarten, he said all full of wonder, "So, on Monday I don't have to go to school?  And Tuesday I don't have to go to school?  And Wednesday and Thursday and Friday for weeks and weeks I don't have to go to school? So every day is the weekend??" Pretty much!  Here's what we're up to: This summer, Noah and I are still working a little on schoolwork.  We signed up for Khan Academy, an online tutoring system.  Once he found out that you could earn points for doing the work, Noah was hooked.  We've been working on his Math skills, specifically addition and subtraction, telling time, and I also need to find one on counting money/coins. I've also assigned him some basic chores such as making his bed, cleaning the toilets, vacuuming, setting and clearing the table,...

A few weeks back, Jen sang a song in church called, God of Heaven, by Heather Sorenson.  It has had such an impact on me, that I just had to post it here along with a link to the music.  You should listen to this song! I had been struggling with my complete and utter failure as a mom over the recent days (don't take this opportunity to tell me I do a great job; I live with myself and see it firsthand! I know all the ugly truth).  What struck me in the song was the placing side-by-side of the truths of who God is:  one verse talks about how He's the author of history, next verse pictures Him as the majestic powerful One who fights our battles and to  whom all the nations bow.  And Then!  In the very next verse, He is the "God who listens, carries all our fragile dreams and heartaches, wins and failures... New beginnings freely offered" What an encouragement!  The God of the universe knows me and loves me.  He sees me with all my flaws and ...

(me at 8weeks. I can see a bump. ;) For the past year or so I have been following a housecleaning plan, with great success, called Motivated Moms.  This lady is great!  She takes all the household chores (and I do mean all) and divvies them up so that you do a little each day--maybe an hour total--and you never have to face an entire day of cleaning your house from top to bottom. Only trouble is, lately since morning sickness hit, I've been rather...unmotivated.  It's Freezer Food City around here at supper time (ie: what can I pull out of the freezer and stick directly into the oven that I don't have to look at or smell?).  Cleaning up the kitchen after a meal likewise is less-than-appealing, and so recently I had to buckle down and Just Do It after it had been a mess for *cough* days.  And dusting? Cleaning the bathrooms? I think a nap sounds much better.  I trust that once I hit the second trimester, things will get better.  But in the mean...

Does every child feel the need to blow bubbles through the straw into his drink? step in puddles, walk a few steps, and then look back to see the wet footprints they've made? rebuke other people for opening their eyes during prayer? (this is truly foolish!) I was just wondering.

One of my friends posted this link on her facebook page, and it was like looking in a mirror to me, so I had to post it on here. Keep your toes covered when you read this--they might get stepped on! Priorities Don't we all need a wake-up call every once in a while?

With Noah's birthday just 6 days away, the little guy is letting everyone (and I do mean everyone) know about his approaching big day. Only he has no concept of time, so it comes out like this: "Did you know it's my birthday? My birthday is on Wednesday. So tomorrow is Friday and after that it will be next Wednesday soon, and that will be my birthday." Clear as mud. This is the first year he has been eagerly anticipating it, and it kind of took me by surprise. Ever since Brianne's birthday last week, he has been So Excited for his own birthday, which he knows is in July as well. Up until this year I have been able to get by with waiting until the actual day before telling him that we will have cake and ice cream, and giving him a gift. We have managed to keep it very low-key, and invited only family. Not this year. Before I could stop him, I heard Noah announcing to all his neighborhood friends yesterday that he wants them to come to his birthday. (He never said ...

This morning Josh left a book open on the counter with a passage marked "Jo." Here is what it said, and may I just say that this was just what I needed today! Thank you, Josh! "Many mothers have asked us how they can handle an unruly child. One of the first things we have them do is see how many times a day they rebuke the child and how many times a day they reward and praise him. Proverbs 16:24 says, 'Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.' Also, how many times does the mother say--and mean--'I love you'? A child needs to know that he is loved whether his behavior is good or bad. Often parents of unruly children give all rebuke and no reward. It is not the lack of punishment, but often the overuse of it without any positive, loving encouragement that causes the difficulty." -from Formula For Family Unity, by Walter and Trudy Fremont

*what I am about to post may be controversial. That's not my intention; for this post I am not intending to pass judgment on any other person's methods. I am simply stating what has and has not worked for us . Please take this as such, and please don't bash me in the comments section. Thank you! :)* Ah, Sunday church training. The transition every church kid must master; too big for the nursery, yet not quite able to sit through an entire service at church. Noah has been at this (I was going to insert "delightful", but realized I'd be lying) stage for a few months with varying degrees of success. We began training him with a Quiet Bag, which is just that; a Bag full of stuff to keep a kid Quiet. Bible story books, an Etch-a-Sketch, a coloring book, an activity book, a bag of crayons. He was then required to be still and quiet during the church service so as not to be a distraction to others. Only it didn't work. I'm sure other children would do well wi...