My Ebenezer

  Eden rang in the first week of 2024 by succumbing to the flu. She has been in bad shape for 7 days; feeling bad, then better, only to swing into worse, then slightly better again. It's been somewhat of a roller coaster; we even thought she was recovered enough to send her to school the next day, only to have her crash again a few hours later. Some days she eats almost nothing (a few grapes, maybe) and others she's hungry for something, but can't tell me just what. Cheese Quesadillas have come in clutch. :) She's been lying around on a mattress in our dining room (I've found that extroverts, even when sick, "want to be where the people are," to quote Ariel) dozing and looking at books by turns.  If I thought a doctor would tell us something other than "rest, and get plenty of fluids" I'd take her in. Thankfully, the rest of us are fine so far! A friend and I have begun reading "Choosing Gratitude" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and we meet...

If you've ever been asked to lead a discussion or teach about a certain spiritual discipline, you can be sure that the Lord will lovingly bring just that exact topic to the forefront in your own life. He'll graciously put your ugly sinful tendencies "right on Front Street," as my good friend Dara likes to say. This is grace! This is God's kindness to reveal sinful tendencies in our own hearts so that we can repent, seek renewed relationship with God and others, and be used of Him. Here is a story about one such evidence of God's grace to me. Josh and I were late to our small group last night. Oh, we were there . We had technically arrived on time, but we remained in the parking lot of the neighborhood's clubhouse for over 45 minutes before we were able to walk in holding hands. Much later in the evening, on our way home from Grace Group, Eden begged to be the one to fill the boys in on why we were late (the boys had driven separately from a soccer practice...

 In this plate-spinning life I lead (and I admit, I'm not as busy as some other moms I know) it's easy for me to let months go by without updating what is going on. Well it's time for a check-in! This (above) is how I spend most mornings after the boys have gone to school (I should post my routine sometime--that's always a scintillating read! Ha!). Eden and I have what we call Eden and Mommy Time. Original and clever, I know. This is time that is largely spent doing what Eden wants to do, whether that is building with blocks, playing with play-doh, coloring, painting with watercolors (my favorite!), baking a dessert, going to the park, or whatnot. She enjoys the undivided attention immensely.  So many things to say about the simple picture above: My kids go through phases and are into forts these days. Specifically, pillow forts. They frequently summon up all the pillows from every corner of the house and make divided forts in the living room. It's great fun for the...

When we were about 23, I remember lying in bed one morning daydreaming with Josh about what it would be like to be, say, 30, and where we'd be and what our family would look like and what it would be like to be so established in our adulthood.  And then we blinked, and here we are; plus 3 kids and without any time for morning daydreaming. Josh turned 40 years old today! I thought 40 would feel older, wiser. It's definitely grayer and maybe a little fatter, but that's about it.  Many wives would have planned something spectacular for their husbands, but we are content with a small family party tomorrow. Welcome to your forties, Josh! May God use you mightily in them!

I seem to be receiving the same test from the Lord with perpetual red ink across the top reading, "Do-over." "F--See Me after class!"  I came here to write about something and found I have already written about this same thing multiple times.  Different circumstances, same bottom-line lesson. Why can't I learn the lesson?  I felt the same way when we were struggling with infertility. Month after month on an endless roller coaster of "Will you trust Me?" "Yes, I mean, no...I mean, yes." Let me back up. Last week I heard for the first time a song called, "As Long As You Are Glorified." (Jen, if you're reading this and approve, I'd like to sing it next time I'm scheduled for special music) I sang it all week long. Here are the lyrics. I dare you not to be convicted! "Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings, Yet not welcome any pain? Shall I thank you for days of sunshine, Yet grumble in days of rain? Shal...

It was good this past weekend to get out on a double date with Matt and Jen.  We haven't been able to do that in years because normally we are each other's babysitters.  Ironically, this time, instead of being able to finally talk without the disruption of small children, we went four-wheeling where we couldn't have talked if we wanted to! :) I'm still laughing about that one.  But the guys really love their four-wheelers, and I know they usually have little tykes climbing all over them angling for rides, so it was a treat to have their wives on the back for a change.  We had fun!  The Lord held off the rain (have I mentioned that we have had almost nothing but rain the whole month of September?) while we were out, and we returned to our kids refreshed and prepared (well, almost) for the parenting thing again.

I'm sitting here at the computer with about a million other things to do; grocery store circulars waiting to be perused and marked, lessons waiting to be planned, rooms to be cleaned, laundry to be done, but I want to write instead.  I think that's how I know that I'm coming back from wherever it was that I have been; I want to write. The days slip past me fast/slow, and my boys are getting so big and I am missing it by not recording it.  I've taken about 5 pictures in as many months, and guilt knocks on my door about that.  But I'm not letting it in!  I look back on my own childhood, and there certainly aren't pictures documenting every week in those dusty albums.  Do I weep about that? No!  So we press on. "What do you want to remember?" I ask myself.  These things: That parenting is the hardest thing I ever begged God to have the privilege of doing.  It is mind-numbingly, pain-stakingly, wits-end kind of hard.  And I laugh because I ...

 I am brave for posting those "before" pictures!  So admittedly Josh is not known for his tidiness as we would define it.  Actually it's a phenomenon I can't comprehend: though it may look cluttered and disorganized to my eye, ask him where any given document is, and he can usually find it.  I can't even begin to understand how... So as a sort of gift to me (he knew it would make my day and be beneficial for everyone), he let me clean out the office.  Elated doesn't begin to describe my feelings!  This is a room that I have dreaded to go into, and couldn't wait to get out of.  Until today. Above you see what it looked like as of 10am, and below is what it looks like as I type this. It's amazing what a little order can do for a person!  Well, for me anyway.  It probably doesn't have the same effect on everybody. :)

I stink at making holidays memorable.  Gift-giving has never been my forte, and so I face gift-giving holidays with a mixture of denial and dread. My husband is particularly hard to give gifts to; in part because he just buys whatever it is he needs (the Lord is good!), and in part because he's really picky discerning.  Men have it easy when it comes to giving gifts on Mother's Day.  Flowers, check.  Chocolate, check.  Done! But there is no such one-size-fits-all gift that applies to men.  I know because I asked.  So in an effort to let my husband know I care, I asked him what he would like. He's not the type that surprises easily anyway, so I figured I could be open about his gift.  "I don't know, some beef jerky would be good," he said.  Really? I can do that! I stopped at Publix on my way home from a chat with my sister-in-law, and looked around for some beef jerky.  I had no idea that beef jerky comes in so many varietie...

I didn't decorate for Valentine's Day this year; I didn't have to.  Seth, or somebody else with grody hands, inadvertently did that for me.  Exhibit A: Aw, come on, I know you see it too-- a heart-shaped fingerprint/face plant mess on the window pane.  Happy Valentine's Day!  I know all you moms are smiling.  I haven't washed it off yet. :) In other news, and perhaps because of the picture above, Josh took me on a much-needed romantic getaway on Friday night. Just the two of us.  We stayed on Amelia Island at the Omni Resort.  Oh, my.  Exhibit B:   That was the view from our balcony!  That's the ocean!  It was absolutely gorgeous in every way.  We had a fantastic time away for one night where we could eat our meals and actually converse, and remember who we are as a couple for a few hours.  Many thanks to Mom Rowley, who stayed with our kids so we could do this. And finally, proving that love is blind(ing)...

I awoke this morning in the middle of the night to these Valentine's Day gifts from Josh.  While normally I'd be all mushy and swoony over the flowers and chocolates, I have to say the Robitussin outranked them all this year.  Noah and Seth were sick last week, and now I have "it" too, only "it" seems to really, reeallllyyyy like me because I'm still sick.  Among other things, I've been coughing for several days, and that Robitussin was enough to make me all weak in the knees for my sweetheart this morning.  Yes, the flowery, gooey, sentimental, up-in-the-clouds, twitterpated kind of love is great for the early years, but what you really need over the long haul is someone willing to go out and buy you Robitussin at 11:00 at night.  I'm just saying.  So here's to love; all kinds, on this Valentine's Day. I love you, Honeybear!!!  Happy Valentine's Day!

Ever have one of those days you wish you could do over?  Valentine's Day was like that for me.  I spaced on getting valentines for Noah's classmates, and as a result he was one of the only kids who didn't give them out.  He didn't notice this oversight at all, but I blushed when he brought home a giant sack of candy and cards from his classmates.  Oops. And I had made the colossal mistake last Sunday of verbally downplaying the importance of Valentine's Day in front of Josh, and so when Josh came home on Valentine's Day bearing a single stem with 4 very small roses on it, thinking he had sufficiently fulfilled his romantic duty, I was under-enthused.  That's putting it too  kindly.  I was a selfish brat about it, and I hurt his feelings.  Honest much? :)  Really, the flower he chose is very pretty, and I am so thankful now, but I wasn't at the time.  To my shame and embarrassment, it was not one of my shining moments. God reminded...

I didn't forget my husband's birthday, as much as he might have wanted to.  He turned 32 on January 30.  We had quite a bit of company, and celebrated with a steak dinner (thanks, Aunt Dorene!), and chocolate raspberry cake for dessert. I am so thankful for another year of life for my husband.  I love you more and more, Honeybear! (Spell-checker just underlined "Honeybear" in red.  There, it did it again.  I'm sorry, Spell-checker, Honeybear is indeed a word, and it IS spelled correctly!  Go pick on some other word that's misspelled for real.) Happy Birthday!!

So what did we do for our anniversary?  We dropped Noah off at Matt and Jen's and went to a local dinner theatre!  The Alhambra Dinner Theatre was performing Dickens' A Christmas Carol.   So, see? We did find something that was somewhere between a ballet or a monster truck rally. :) The food was outstanding, and the play was too.  We had been a little concerned that it wasn't going to be worth the money, but it totally was.  What a great way to spend our 10th wedding anniversary!  And here is a photo of what Josh got me to remember the evening by: Two dozen roses and a gigantic card which reads:  "Happy Anniversary, Joanna my wife, my one and only.  Here's to 10 years and forever to follow.  Love, Josh." Very special.

Josh and I have officially been married 10 years--how crazy is that!? In honor of our 10 year anniversary, (Happy Anniversary, Josh!) I'd like to post some pictures from "back in the day"--our early years dating and married.  Bear with me; my technological skills are such that I have to take a photo of the photo, and then upload it.  Scanning is just not in my repertoire.  If you're trying to think of what to get me for Christmas, perhaps a basic computer class would be called for. :)  Raise your hand if you think we looked young. Happy Anniversary, Josh.  You were my best friend then, and you're my bestest friend now, if that's possible.  I love you so much. I'm so thankful the Lord brought us together. Love, Jo

Last Sunday evening, a young couple visited our church. They were glowing. I went to go meet them after the service, and the girl told me they were on their honeymoon; they had been married a little over a week. On our way home from church, I told Josh that the couple was on their honeymoon. He made some kind of indistinguishable noise, and said "Those were the days! Real life hasn't started yet, you've been showered with gift cards to all kinds of stores, you have no responsibility, and everything is wonderful!" I think he was a little jealous. :) We don't get much vacation time. I should say we don't take much vacation time. Not vacation in a way that I would define it anyway. I can't ever remember a vacation or even a weekend or even a date night where Josh's phone didn't ring and he was responsible to do something about the call....except while we were on our honeymoon. Nine and a half years ago. So my wish (whether or not it will happen remai...

This morning Josh left a book open on the counter with a passage marked "Jo." Here is what it said, and may I just say that this was just what I needed today! Thank you, Josh! "Many mothers have asked us how they can handle an unruly child. One of the first things we have them do is see how many times a day they rebuke the child and how many times a day they reward and praise him. Proverbs 16:24 says, 'Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.' Also, how many times does the mother say--and mean--'I love you'? A child needs to know that he is loved whether his behavior is good or bad. Often parents of unruly children give all rebuke and no reward. It is not the lack of punishment, but often the overuse of it without any positive, loving encouragement that causes the difficulty." -from Formula For Family Unity, by Walter and Trudy Fremont

Josh has been working overtime lately on a myriad of new projects. He recently bought a 16-unit property (a group of 4 buildings with 4 units in each), plus he's been managing a few other properties for his dad. And I thought Josh was busy before! It has been reminding me more and more to take my own advice to Dave and Andrea at their wedding: don't find your sufficiency and your joy solely in your spouse! I can be happy and joyful even if Josh leaves earlier, comes home later, and works more days. "I have set the LORD continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely...In Your presence is fullness of joy..." Ps 16:8, 9, 11b

I had the strangest dream that Josh's brother Dave got married yesterday. Oh, wait. HE DID!!!! That's right, Dave got married . Last week at this time we knew nothing about any wedding, and today we've just returned from Charleston, SC after having witnessed his marriage. We have always teased Dave about his secretiveness, and in fact he and Andrea had talked about eloping, but thankfully (a BIG "Thank you," Dave) he called us all last Wednesday night and invited us to his wedding. I'm so glad he did! So Dave is married now. Dad Rowley asked each one of the brothers and sisters (and sisters-in-law) to give a short charge to Dave and Andrea during the wedding, in lieu of a typical wedding sermon. I think this was a great idea, though I was way nervous to have to do such a thing. Have you ever tried to give marriage advice with your spouse standing right there listening to you? It's very sobering. Everything you say, you have the earthly person who knows you...

Call me boring, but I was never a Gift Shaker. You know the type: the ones that shake their gifts or pat them down, trying to guess what is inside, and then smile triumphantly if they get it right. They think that guessing accurately the contents of presents intended for them is more fun than actually opening them! My husband is that type. This is one of his little quirks that is so endearing and irritating to me at the same time (we all have quirks like that). It has caused a lot of laughter in our household this season! You see, by contrast, I never picked my gifts up or squeezed them, or went hunting through the closets in search of them. I didn't want to know. In fact, when I was six or seven years old, I accidentally stumbled upon a coloring book that was to be a Christmas present for me. At the time of course I thought it was thrilling to find out about it, until Christmas morning came and there was the coloring book, redundantly peeking out at me from my stocking li...