Confused But Trusting

*Note to the men: This post could make you a little squeamish. You've been warned.*




This past Monday I went in to the doctor for an appointment to hopefully get some answers to some Issues I had been having. Without going into too much detail, these were "women's troubles" and very perplexing (think: the woman in Luke 8:43, but not as long-term).

Now let me back up and put in a request to any doctor who may read this:

Dear Doctor,
Please read my chart BEFORE you enter the exam room. You do not instill much confidence when you're reading my chart in front of me, trying to figure out who I am and why I'm here. This will greatly help you and me, and will also eliminate your embarrassing moment when I have to remind you that Yes, I have had prior surgery, and that YOU'RE the one who performed it.

Thank you.

I consider myself a reasonable person, but when I have to say, "Actually yes, I have had a laparoscopy before. Two, in fact, and you were the surgeon!" I think that's a little...well....bad. No, I do not expect that the doctor would remember me, as if I'm some memorable person. I realize that he sees many, many patients a day and probably performs hundreds of these types of surgeries. But could he at least have taken a few minutes to look over my chart before he walked into the room to at least make it seem like he knew who I was? I'm just saying.

*steps off soapbox*


So I had an appointment. They aren't really sure what is wrong with me, other than to say they think it's "hormonal." The doctor gave me the option of going on birth control pills, which we all know I do NOT want. Or I can stay the way I am and hope and pray that my body regulates itself.

I chose option B.

I came home from that appointment pretty discouraged and very confused. Discouraged because I had thought I would get some concrete answers, and confused as to what is going on with my body. But over the next couple of days, through reading my Bible and praying, the Lord impressed upon my heart that: No, I do not know what is wrong with me, and neither does my doctor for that matter. But God does.

God knows exactly what I am going through and why, and He alone has the power to change it or keep it the same. So it is to my God that I run once again. Not only for healing and to "get me out of this mess", but for comfort and solace. For holding my hand and quieting my soul.

God is so good.

Comments

cj and family said…
Praying, Joanna. I read Isaiah 55 this morning. It's a powerful passage and may be encouraging to you today.
October 10, 2010 at 6:06 PM
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