A New Leaf

I've had several people tell me lately to "Relax!" and I must admit that relaxing is not something I do very well. I'm naturally an uptight person.


I've shocked you, right? :)


You're speechless at learning this new fact about me, aren't you? Admit it!


Ok, NOT!! If you know me, you could have written this chapter about me already. :)


Anyway, I've been really listening to myself throughout the days lately, and I'm realizing everyone is right. You're right. If you have told me to relax lately, thank you! What I'm hearing from my own mouth is this high-pitched insistent tone of voice barking out commands that, when you think about it, don't really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things. "Cut that out!" "Stop that!" "Stand right here!" "You're so loud!" "Put that down!" "Stop bouncing!" (sometimes I think I am parenting Tigger himself rather than a two-year-old boy. It wouldn't surprise me in the least to look down one day and see a bouncy-trouncy-spring-loaded Tigger.) Most of these behaviors I'm trying so desperately to squelch are not, in fact, sins. They are merely irritations to yours truly; embarrassments, interruptions to my thoughts. There's nothing quite so humbling as parenting to show you your true selfish heart, right?!

I believe the Lord has been working in my heart about this lately, and with His help, I'm trying to relax a little more. Quit taking everything so seriously. Enjoy the ride!


That's not to say I should let discipline go, but instead really think about what my goal is. My goal is not to repress every remotely childlike action in attempt to save my own sanity or pride! My goal IS to rear a little boy for the Lord, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun, adventure, and unpredictability along the way.

So lately, when I can start to feel myself coil up tight and my blood pressure start to rise, I stop to think whether I'm really reacting to a sinful behavior in my child or simply a child being a child. I've started to laugh more and make funny faces with Noah.

I'm not anywhere near the kind of mother I'd like to be (I have so incredibly far to go), but I can tell you that we are starting to enjoy our days more.

Life is lighter somehow. :)

Comments

Cheryl said…
Thanks for sharing... I always found it helpful to remember there was a difference between "molding" or "channeling" a child's spirit vs. crushing it. Parenting is not for cowards! keep up the good work.
January 12, 2010 at 9:02 AM
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