Mothering On Purpose




Over the past several weeks I have been working on what I call Mothering On Purpose. The default mode of parenting (at least for me) is to be lazy; not only in discipline, but even in daily activities and teaching opportunities.




My biggest temptation is to go check my email and facebook accounts when I could be playing with Noah, or to sit silently when I could be instructing him about something. I am not a talkative person, easily coming up with clever conversations or filling the void with words. I much prefer thinking to talking. But with Noah, who has so much to learn, I may actually be doing him a disservice by keeping my mouth shut. For example, when I am doing the laundry and he's watching, I would rather just shove the clothes in the dryer, throw in a sheet of fabric softener, push the button, and be on my way! Then I realize that a little person is watching me intently and probably wondering what I'm doing. So recently I've taken to narrating my tasks so hopefully he'll pick up on not just the how of a job, but the why as well. Ambitious? I don't think so! Every day Noah astonishes me with how much he understands. I don't give him enough credit. And what could it hurt? At the very least he'll learn correct sentence structure and the meanings of the words, whether or not he becomes the first one-year-old capable of doing his own laundry, Ha Ha! :)




I'm learning with parenting that you can't just let it happen. You have to be proactive and do everything you do on purpose. (I'm talking to myself here, since I'm sure you all know this!) Did you tell him not to touch that? Better follow through on the correction now or else you will pay for it later. Going to the post office? Talk to him about why you are waiting in line, where the letter or package is going, how it gets there... Everything we do in a day provides an opportunity to teach Noah something. Not that I always take those opportunities, but I'm trying to improve.




Sometimes I'm just so tired of explaining and following through and being thorough, and I'm tempted just to stick him in front of a video (which he probably wouldn't sit through anyway) or go take a break somehow. This is where the Lord's grace comes in; when I'm ready to give up for the day, I can always call on Him and ask for the strength I need to be patient and discipline correctly when Noah pulls the ball off the Christmas tree for the 29th time that day.




It's getting late and I feel like I'm rambling on. Maybe I will pick up this topic in the future, but for now I hope I've made sense and increased my resolve to give mothering my best effort. It is certainly the hardest but most fulfilling job I've ever had, and with the Lord's help hopefully I can get better and better at it.

Comments

Ruth said…
It is tempting to get on the computer when we could be playing with our little one. Of course some independent playtime is good too (which I know you already schedule into your daily routine). Children born #2, 3, etc always have that but only children or eldest ones usually have less of that.

I am very talkative by nature plus I am well versed as an Early Childhood professor on the importance of talking with your child so Nadia hears my voice All the Time, LOL. Sometimes I'm singing but a lot of the time I'm talking and doing as you say - describing what I am doing when I'm doing the laundry etc. I agree with you that I think we underestimate what they understand - how broad their receptive vocabularies are. I already have a couple of words that I think Nadia understands (receptively) such as milk but the only one she's said expressively is "hi" as would be expected since she's only 5 months old. :-)
December 5, 2008 at 7:22 AM
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