My Ebenezer

Noah filled up a superstar card this morning. He can earn superstars for outstanding behavior or attitudes, and when he earns 12 on his punchcard, he can turn it in for something special.  In the past we have gone bowling, mini-golfing, or out for ice cream as a family.  This time, we got a fish!  Meet Johnny Appleseed (that's the fish).  And that is the face of one excited little boy!

In my previous post, I alluded to the fact that before we had kids I thought I had All The Answers about parenting and that now, well, I don't.  Our church has been offering a parenting class on Sunday afternoons, and it has been most eye-opening.  Embarrassing actually, as I mentally replay all our mistakes and shortcomings, which have conspicuously displayed themselves in my children's lives like the proverbial elephant in the room.  Large, smelly, and generally hard to ignore.  Funny how my mistakes make themselves evident in my kids' lives. Today's lesson was on giving too many freedoms too early to children (called "parenting outside the funnel"), and then the little cherubs end up ruling the house and doing whatever it is they please.  I only heard bits and pieces of the lesson, because I was in the nursery with the littles, listening when I could on the speaker.  But in between refereeing squabbles (did you know it doesn't really matter who had i...

I'm sitting here at the computer with about a million other things to do; grocery store circulars waiting to be perused and marked, lessons waiting to be planned, rooms to be cleaned, laundry to be done, but I want to write instead.  I think that's how I know that I'm coming back from wherever it was that I have been; I want to write. The days slip past me fast/slow, and my boys are getting so big and I am missing it by not recording it.  I've taken about 5 pictures in as many months, and guilt knocks on my door about that.  But I'm not letting it in!  I look back on my own childhood, and there certainly aren't pictures documenting every week in those dusty albums.  Do I weep about that? No!  So we press on. "What do you want to remember?" I ask myself.  These things: That parenting is the hardest thing I ever begged God to have the privilege of doing.  It is mind-numbingly, pain-stakingly, wits-end kind of hard.  And I laugh because I ...

*This is probably not a post for the men to read, just to let you know.* I have felt a little...unbalanced over the past year.  "Unbalanced" may be too demure a word. Crazy would be more accurate.  Sometimes I can't even express this brand of crazy to others.  It's been an overwhelming-can't-explain-it-am-I-losing-my-mind kind of crazy.  For you moms out there, maybe this will help describe what I'm trying to say: it's the kind of crazy that happens those first few weeks after you have given birth to a new baby.  You're happy, you're sad.  Why are you crying? You don't know. You're so frustrated! You are overwhelmed. You can't think straight. You see yourself act and hear yourself speak, but it's disconnected from reality. You think weird thoughts. You. Are. Not. YOU. That's how I have felt. Add that to very irregular cycles (see, I told you this wasn't a post for the men!) and some other physical symptoms I've bee...

Did you know that Seth loves pockets and he almost always keeps a little hot wheels car in one, and a marble or bouncy ball in the other.  I usually find one of his pocket treasures in the dryer, which always makes me smile. And Seth doesn't like pajamas because they don't have pockets. Vacation Bible School is done!  Crafty J (that's me) can retire her name badge for another year.  I do love VBS, but I'm always ready for it to be over by the end.  There is a certain kind of tired that is only experienced by a VBS staff member. Am I right? Each and every one of the pictures on my camera from VBS came out blurry!  I couldn't believe it.  I think it was the lighting, but maybe it was the setting.  :( Noah lost another tooth a few nights ago and the Tooth Fairy (also me) keeps forgetting to put money under his pillow!  OOPS.  I blamed it on being VBS Tired, but that didn't make Noah feel any better.  I saw him dejectedly sittin...

I have been re-reading One Thousand Gifts , by Ann Voskamp (a must-read!) and am being reminded to give thanks in everything and for everything, that thanksgiving always precedes the miracle of living life fully satisfied with God.  Then in my Bible reading just this morning, I saw it for myself: the miracle.  "So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name.  My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth offers praises with joyful lips." Psalm 63:4-5  Giving thanks to God satisfies our souls!  Are you looking for satisfaction like I am?  A filling up to the brim, and overflowing with joy?  Honestly, too often I turn to chocolate or brownies or coffee to satisfy my soul (which doesn't work, by the way), when what my soul craves is more God.  Then did you see it?  "My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness..."  There is nothing like God to fill up the empty holes, and there is nothing lik...

I had always assumed that a downside to being a family with just boys was that our read-alouds would by necessity be decidedly masculine.  I would be doomed to Captains Courageous , Treasure Island , and Old Yeller , with not even an Anne of Green Gables or Little Women  to soften the blow.  I was bemoaning to my niece (and possibly to Jen too) the fact that we would probably never get to read the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder because those stories are too "girly", but Marisa set me straight. "But if you think about it, most of it is really about Pa!" she said.  "How he cleans his guns, sets his traps, tells stories, and plays his fiddle.  They're not that girly, really. Noah would probably eat it up!" And she's right.  We're two-thirds of the way through Little House in the Big Woods , and Noah loves it!  He listens raptly to all the descriptions of making maple sugar and smoking the meat, and the stories of being out in th...

Our church is in transition right now.  There is a family who, though indispensable to our ministry over the last 5 or so years, is suddenly being moved by the clear direction of God to South Carolina.  We see the hand of God in it, and so we can do nothing more than praise Him for this working in their lives and hold our hands out in expectation of how God will fill the gap.  Because there will be a gap.  This family was involved in almost every ministry; deacon, Sunday school teachers, nursery workers (as the one "in charge" of scheduling nursery workers, just ask me how much I will miss them!), music, organization, and probably a myriad of other capacities of which I am not even aware, because they didn't serve to be noticed.  And did I mention that they drove almost an hour one-way just to get to church?  We're talking dedication. But as much as I am sorry to see them go, there is also awakening in me a kind of wonder-filled excitement at what God wil...

 I am brave for posting those "before" pictures!  So admittedly Josh is not known for his tidiness as we would define it.  Actually it's a phenomenon I can't comprehend: though it may look cluttered and disorganized to my eye, ask him where any given document is, and he can usually find it.  I can't even begin to understand how... So as a sort of gift to me (he knew it would make my day and be beneficial for everyone), he let me clean out the office.  Elated doesn't begin to describe my feelings!  This is a room that I have dreaded to go into, and couldn't wait to get out of.  Until today. Above you see what it looked like as of 10am, and below is what it looks like as I type this. It's amazing what a little order can do for a person!  Well, for me anyway.  It probably doesn't have the same effect on everybody. :)

Noah, age 7. He'll be 8 next month, if you can believe that.  I can't.  He loves to read; specifically The Boxcar Children or Hardy Boys series.  He rarely gets along with Seth (this photo just isn't reality most of the time), but we are working on that.  He is competitive, imaginative, inquisitive, and loves to attempt joke-telling (His latest one: What state sneezes a lot?  Mass"achu"setts!).  Still talks almost non-stop, and has a memory like a trap. Seth, age 2 1/2.  We are still working on speaking clearly, as much of what he says is not understandable (though he did just start saying "Noah" instead of "No-No", which is forward progress!) I would also love for him to master potty-training before we start school in August.  If I remember to take him, he stays dry and clean all day, but left to himself it's accident city.  Seth is always hungry, declaring, "I so hummy" multiple times a day, even if we just ate.  He lik...

I stink at making holidays memorable.  Gift-giving has never been my forte, and so I face gift-giving holidays with a mixture of denial and dread. My husband is particularly hard to give gifts to; in part because he just buys whatever it is he needs (the Lord is good!), and in part because he's really picky discerning.  Men have it easy when it comes to giving gifts on Mother's Day.  Flowers, check.  Chocolate, check.  Done! But there is no such one-size-fits-all gift that applies to men.  I know because I asked.  So in an effort to let my husband know I care, I asked him what he would like. He's not the type that surprises easily anyway, so I figured I could be open about his gift.  "I don't know, some beef jerky would be good," he said.  Really? I can do that! I stopped at Publix on my way home from a chat with my sister-in-law, and looked around for some beef jerky.  I had no idea that beef jerky comes in so many varietie...

I have been itching to sit down and write about several things lately; namely....   Well, now that I'm in here with actual time to actually write, I have no idea what it was I was going to say!  Do you ever do that?  I will walk into the kitchen, go straight to the refrigerator and stare in, intent on grabbing....what?  I then have to shut the refrigerator and go back out of the room (it doesn't work if you stay in the same room; you absolutely have to leave) until I can remember, and then when I do remember, I go straight back to the fridge chanting, "Ketchup, ketchup, ketchup" until I'm back at the table, victorious with my ketchup. Or whatever it was I was after. Anyway.  All of that's certainly not what I wanted to say.  I guess I'll have to come back when I remember!

I recently got a new camera, after my old one's lens cover was mysteriously submerged in grit and refused to open anymore.  How this happened we don't know, but I think it had something to do with the fact that we have two kids who love dirt. We debated long and hard whether we should even buy another point-and-shoot at all, or if I should just join the 21st century and buy a smartphone, which would take pictures and keep me perpetually tied to the internet, all while making calls and texts.  But the truth remains; that doesn't thrill me like it does for most people. I don't use my phone like most people do, nor do I even want to (that's another soapbox for another time), and so I was happy to purchase another point-and-shoot camera, which I will employ to do camera-like things, and not also require it to also make phone calls, keep track of my appointments, and order pizza.  Anyway. So I have this camera, and I just learned how to upload the pictures from it!  A...

I make the weekly bank deposit for our church.  Each week, that's me in the bank's drive-thru line, two kids in the backseat rolling down their windows and shamelessly dangling out the window in hopes of scoring a lollipop ("We're here, do you see us? Aren't we cute? Don't we deserve a lollipop?"). Only, the last couple of months there have been no lollipops.  The bank ran out, and has made no effort to restock, despite my kids' disappointed faces.  Then I noticed a few weeks ago that they had closed down two of the three drive-thru lanes.  Thinking it strange, I mentioned it to the teller when I finally pulled up to the window after waiting 13 minutes in line (closing down two lanes has meant that the wait in the one remaining line can be absurdly long).  The teller informed me that they were in the process of closing down the drive-thru for good, and that by June 8, there would be no more drive thrus at any of their banking locations. My mouth dr...

That's my life these days.  After confiding to a close friend that I feel guilty for how much I have not blogged, she asked why.  I suppose I feel that I'm doing my family a disservice by not making more time for this.  I know one day I will want to look back on yesteryear and many of our memories won't be documented.  But I'm thankful on the other hand that many of them are . We went to The Wilds of North Carolina last weekend for a lightning speed version of Family Camp.  There were only 75 campers at this weekend (as opposed to hundreds like we have at the summer week-long version), which made for a nice (no-lines!) relaxed weekend.  And of course you have all the spiritual sharpening that goes on at a retreat like that.  We heard some excellent messages from Colossians 3, which we are working to implement in our family STAT.  Here are some pictures from the weekend: during "God and I Time", a kid-free time with your spouse for spiritual ...

I didn't decorate for Valentine's Day this year; I didn't have to.  Seth, or somebody else with grody hands, inadvertently did that for me.  Exhibit A: Aw, come on, I know you see it too-- a heart-shaped fingerprint/face plant mess on the window pane.  Happy Valentine's Day!  I know all you moms are smiling.  I haven't washed it off yet. :) In other news, and perhaps because of the picture above, Josh took me on a much-needed romantic getaway on Friday night. Just the two of us.  We stayed on Amelia Island at the Omni Resort.  Oh, my.  Exhibit B:   That was the view from our balcony!  That's the ocean!  It was absolutely gorgeous in every way.  We had a fantastic time away for one night where we could eat our meals and actually converse, and remember who we are as a couple for a few hours.  Many thanks to Mom Rowley, who stayed with our kids so we could do this. And finally, proving that love is blind(ing)...

Seth has decided that naps are over-rated. At least 3 days out of every week for the last few months, Seth refuses to sleep at naptime.  He bounces loudly around in his room, sometimes happily, sometimes not, and sometimes (like today) committing acts of terrible indecency.  I found him this afternoon after he had been really noisy for the previous hour, half-naked with "stinky" (which is code for poop) in several places on the carpet. *closes eyes, breathes in and out, tries to remain calm* This is not okay . I don't really know what to do with him.   I profoundly need his afternoon naptime to stay intact! It is key to my survival as a mom, and I honestly don't know what to do with a two-year-old who will not nap.  It's actually frightening to me. "Quiet time" sounds all nice and friendly, but I don't think people who suggest this have actually met Seth.  He is never still or quiet unless he is asleep. So I guess all that is to explain to...

Josh's parents came into town January 19th, and what a blessing it has been to have them here!  It seems just the time you need reinforcements, God sends in the troops in the form of people who have been there and done that, and are willing to do it again for a while.  Grampy has been taking the boys on bike rides, and Grammy is always good for a walk or a game with Noah.  And Noah's love language is playing games. :) We are blessed to have godly parents who have invested their time in us, and now also in our children.  Thank you, Grampy and Grammy!

This isn't really a New Year Goal, but what do you call a post when you haven't written in weeks, and you just want to write again, but don't  really know where to begin?  I picked New Year Goal, even though I've been working on this particular goal since October.  Anyway.... So what I was thinking about is the fact that I have entered a new and terrible phase of my life: a weight struggle.  I spent the first thirty-two years of my life--with the exception of a couple of really awkward years in middle school (but I don't like thinking about those), ahem --being able to eat literally Anything I Wanted without gaining an ounce.  Don't throw things at me!  That is no longer the case. I breezed through Noah's pregnancy, and all the extra weight I gained just fell off after the first 6 weeks.  Then I had Seth, and, well, I'm still hanging on to extra pounds from him.  Or actually, what I realized in early October was that I was just telling myself ...