My Ebenezer

I make the weekly bank deposit for our church.  Each week, that's me in the bank's drive-thru line, two kids in the backseat rolling down their windows and shamelessly dangling out the window in hopes of scoring a lollipop ("We're here, do you see us? Aren't we cute? Don't we deserve a lollipop?"). Only, the last couple of months there have been no lollipops.  The bank ran out, and has made no effort to restock, despite my kids' disappointed faces.  Then I noticed a few weeks ago that they had closed down two of the three drive-thru lanes.  Thinking it strange, I mentioned it to the teller when I finally pulled up to the window after waiting 13 minutes in line (closing down two lanes has meant that the wait in the one remaining line can be absurdly long).  The teller informed me that they were in the process of closing down the drive-thru for good, and that by June 8, there would be no more drive thrus at any of their banking locations. My mouth dr...

That's my life these days.  After confiding to a close friend that I feel guilty for how much I have not blogged, she asked why.  I suppose I feel that I'm doing my family a disservice by not making more time for this.  I know one day I will want to look back on yesteryear and many of our memories won't be documented.  But I'm thankful on the other hand that many of them are . We went to The Wilds of North Carolina last weekend for a lightning speed version of Family Camp.  There were only 75 campers at this weekend (as opposed to hundreds like we have at the summer week-long version), which made for a nice (no-lines!) relaxed weekend.  And of course you have all the spiritual sharpening that goes on at a retreat like that.  We heard some excellent messages from Colossians 3, which we are working to implement in our family STAT.  Here are some pictures from the weekend: during "God and I Time", a kid-free time with your spouse for spiritual ...

I didn't decorate for Valentine's Day this year; I didn't have to.  Seth, or somebody else with grody hands, inadvertently did that for me.  Exhibit A: Aw, come on, I know you see it too-- a heart-shaped fingerprint/face plant mess on the window pane.  Happy Valentine's Day!  I know all you moms are smiling.  I haven't washed it off yet. :) In other news, and perhaps because of the picture above, Josh took me on a much-needed romantic getaway on Friday night. Just the two of us.  We stayed on Amelia Island at the Omni Resort.  Oh, my.  Exhibit B:   That was the view from our balcony!  That's the ocean!  It was absolutely gorgeous in every way.  We had a fantastic time away for one night where we could eat our meals and actually converse, and remember who we are as a couple for a few hours.  Many thanks to Mom Rowley, who stayed with our kids so we could do this. And finally, proving that love is blind(ing)...

Seth has decided that naps are over-rated. At least 3 days out of every week for the last few months, Seth refuses to sleep at naptime.  He bounces loudly around in his room, sometimes happily, sometimes not, and sometimes (like today) committing acts of terrible indecency.  I found him this afternoon after he had been really noisy for the previous hour, half-naked with "stinky" (which is code for poop) in several places on the carpet. *closes eyes, breathes in and out, tries to remain calm* This is not okay . I don't really know what to do with him.   I profoundly need his afternoon naptime to stay intact! It is key to my survival as a mom, and I honestly don't know what to do with a two-year-old who will not nap.  It's actually frightening to me. "Quiet time" sounds all nice and friendly, but I don't think people who suggest this have actually met Seth.  He is never still or quiet unless he is asleep. So I guess all that is to explain to...

Josh's parents came into town January 19th, and what a blessing it has been to have them here!  It seems just the time you need reinforcements, God sends in the troops in the form of people who have been there and done that, and are willing to do it again for a while.  Grampy has been taking the boys on bike rides, and Grammy is always good for a walk or a game with Noah.  And Noah's love language is playing games. :) We are blessed to have godly parents who have invested their time in us, and now also in our children.  Thank you, Grampy and Grammy!

This isn't really a New Year Goal, but what do you call a post when you haven't written in weeks, and you just want to write again, but don't  really know where to begin?  I picked New Year Goal, even though I've been working on this particular goal since October.  Anyway.... So what I was thinking about is the fact that I have entered a new and terrible phase of my life: a weight struggle.  I spent the first thirty-two years of my life--with the exception of a couple of really awkward years in middle school (but I don't like thinking about those), ahem --being able to eat literally Anything I Wanted without gaining an ounce.  Don't throw things at me!  That is no longer the case. I breezed through Noah's pregnancy, and all the extra weight I gained just fell off after the first 6 weeks.  Then I had Seth, and, well, I'm still hanging on to extra pounds from him.  Or actually, what I realized in early October was that I was just telling myself ...

From Monday to Wednesday all it did was rain (I think we had 8 inches or something crazy like that) and then Thursday--Christmas Day--we went to look at some land. We decided since we didn't have other plans, that we would take the whole family in Josh's Honda Pilot up to look at a 12-acre parcel of land that Josh had been considering for purchase.  We had heard that about a third of this land was considered "wet lands" and, well, they were right.  I'm sure all that rain didn't help. :) We parked on a section of the swamp road just on the edge of the woods where this parcel began.  We got out.  We rolled up our pants and waded through the woods, about ankle-deep in water. We looked around.  After a little while, we decided we had seen enough and were ready to go home.  We got back in our vehicle, prepared to empty out our shoes and wring out our socks.  Josh put the car in reverse, backed up, and then tried to go forward.  Our tires spun and a ...

When we moved into this house in May 2010, there were certain projects we had left undone with the intention of completing upon move-in. But then there were all those boxes to be unpacked, and life to be lived, and here we are four and a half years later, with many of those projects yet undone.  I'm sure none of you can relate to that. :) Josh and I decided that we needed A List (oh, goodie, I love those!); a list of projects still needing to be done, and that on Saturdays we could pick one or two and knock them out.  This week's project was Installing a Windowsill and Trim Around the Kitchen Window.  For four and a half years, my tomatoes and windowsill knick-knacks (who doesn't have those?) have been sunning themselves on bare wood.  Today, they have a beautiful marble sill to sit on!  Thank you, Josh, for taking the time to complete this!

Two years ago today, God gave us our second little miracle in the form of Seth Marshall.  These two years have flown by!  Here are a few fun facts about our boy whom we affectionately call our "Loose Cannon." The fact that we call him Loose Cannon should say a lot!  Everything he touches turns to disaster, and you just never know what mess he will create next. He talks a lot, but as of yet I can only understand about 1/4 of what he says.  Sometimes you can pick up hints from the context of the situation, but other times I'm just at a loss as to what he needs. One thing I do understand him saying is, "MMmm, that's GOOD!" (which sounds like "MMmm, va DOO!") when he's eating a tasty food. Seth is ready to be potty-trained, but am I?  That is the question.  I'm thinking of taking a week off from school and just doing that full time.  We'll see. He has a very strong opinion about what he wears, which is foreign territory for me...

On Thursday of this week, we attended the Jacksonville Fair with Matt and Jen's family, and on Friday evening, Matt and Jen were kind enough to watch our kids (thanks, guys!!) while Josh and I took in a performance of The Nutcracker.  To say that the two experiences were different would be an understatement of epic proportions.  Maybe I am just biased, what with my inner ballerina and all, but I was in my element at the ballet, and very much out of it at the fair.  I left the fair with a headache, and left the ballet dancing (at least inwardly). That said, here are some pictures I took (go, me!) of both events: Nervous much? Jen and I caught Brianne and Titus grasping Noah's shirt while waiting in line for this ride.  That's right, go to Noah when you need a little assurance. Or not. ;) Titus, Noah, Brianne, and Libby on that very same ride a few minutes later. The agricultural building is, in my opinion, the best part of the fair.  They ha...

There are certain realities that just go with the territory of having boys.  Among others, the boundless energy. The mud.  The guns. The obsession with anything motorized.  The complete inability to stay out of puddles. And the climbing of trees.   Deep down I wouldn't trade any of these things, even though I may complain (loudly at times) about the amount of laundry that I do. It's what makes them boys .  And I love them! Oh, and P.S.  When did Noah get so BIG?

When Josh brought home a white rabbit the other day, I had to think fast to prevent Noah from coming up with the ever-popular-but-very-prosaic "Snowball" for a name. Besides, we used to have a bunny named Snowball (guess who named it?) and it was time for a new name.  So I suggested Olaf, which is perhaps the funniest snow creature I have ever seen.  Everybody loved it, and so here I present to you, Olaf. Oops, that's not Olaf.  That's my photobomber, Seth.  Olaf is behind him. There we are!  Noah was delighted to find that Olaf likes celery. A very happy Noah with a very nervous Olaf

We enjoy a good read-aloud around here.  In September we read Treasures of the Snow , by Patricia St. John, and in October we read The Horse and His Boy , by C.S. Lewis.  As we were finishing that one, I reserved a few books at the library to preview and choose for our next read-aloud.  One of those was Mr. Popper's Penguins, which after I reviewed it, planned to assign to Noah as part of his reading class curriculum.  However, the next day I discovered him reading it, and he was already 2/3 of the way through!  He devoured that book before I ever had a chance to come up with study questions and such, so I guess it's off the list.  But boy did he enjoy it!  Here's an excerpt from the part that had him giggling out loud: "Penguins are very intelligent," continued Mr. Popper.  "Listen to this, Mamma. It says here that when they want to catch some shrimps, they all crowd over to the edge of an ice bank.  Only they don't just jump in, becau...

I used to come here more often.  This blog was my outlet; my sounding board for whatever I wanted to talk about.  Quite simply, I miss it.  I miss the clickety-clack of the keys as I divest my cluttered mind of its burdens and delights.  So I'm back.  At least until my life jerks me once more into reality, which could be any minute... School fills up a good bit of our time.  I have to admit that sometimes we all have attitudes like this: but thankfully, most of the time it's more like this: In case you were wondering, we have never had second thoughts at all about our decision to homeschool.  Thank the Lord that He seems to have made it clear that we did a good thing.  Noah loves that school doesn't take all day, and I love that I get to witness him learning new things and have more influence in shaping his character.  Speaking of shaping character, that is a constant job.  But you knew that. Seth is almost two, and doesn't ...

When I go through a significant trial, I usually can't trust myself to write about it right away.  The feelings are too raw, my flesh is too strong, and I fear I will say something I will regret.  But I think I am ready now.  God has reminded me of late that He is in complete control, and that "no purpose of [His] can be thwarted." Job 42:2  These are vital things to know when you go through trials inexplicable. Over the last five months, God has allowed Josh and me to lose four babies.  Four babies in five months.  In May and again in July, we lost two miracle pregnancies almost as quickly as we discovered them.  And now here in October, we have lost two more precious ones to a failed IVF cycle. I have done a lot of asking God, "Why?" which for the record always turns out to be an exercise in frustration and brings with it no peace, only more questions and prideful accusations.  Then I remembered Job, who in the middle of his trials (which we...

I had the option in college to major in Art Education, but at the time all the education classes steered me away from that option.  Little did I know.  And now, 12 years after graduation, I am teaching Art twice a month to our little homeschool group--which consists of Noah and his Jacksonville cousins.  We have had 2 classes so far, and it's going well.  It's a bit of a challenge because I have ages 2-7 in my "class", but we do manage to have ourselves some fun, even if I do often lose the four-year-old to the greener pastures of the toy trucks. Today we did fingerprint art... Titus made "blocks" out of his fingerprints.  See him eyeing the trucks in the next room?  I get you, Titus! Libby had fun making lots of different colored fingerprints Brianne immediately decided to make flowers, and they turned out beautifully! (Hey, where's Titus?  Can you guess?) And Noah worked on a hand "tree" with fingerprint "leaves....

Lately I have been feeling like I'm being knocked around by life a bit.  My house is overwhelming in a continually disheveled, stuff-everywhere, does-that-laundry-basket-contain-clean-clothes-or-dirty? sort of way, there are projects piling up that I have no time for, my parenting abilities have clearly fallen on hard times, I feel like Josh and I have no time together, and I'm pretty sure (actually, very sure) that our most recent attempt with IVF has failed. "One at a time !" I want to bellow to my trials. "Take a num ber!" But life isn't like that, is it?  Trials don't come in neatly-wrapped bite-sized bundles, one at a time.  No, that's why we say, "when it rains, it pours." So. I thought I'd take a minute and just breathe for a second, and I find a lot of times I come here to breathe.  Or to write, which is similar.  Let me take a moment and focus on some positives for a few minutes: These guys.  I do love them.  ...

Yesterday I added progesterone shots to my daily medication routine (though I don't think I will ever get used to giving myself a shot, so "routine" seems like a misnomer!).  Lord-willing on Tuesday, Sept 23, we will have our Frozen Embryo Transfer, transferring our two embryos which were frozen when we did IVF the last time.  We are praying that the Lord would use this to grow our family if that would be His will.  I'll keep you posted how things go! I just went back and re-read all my posts from the other IVF attempts we've had.  There are definitely a lot more of those posts, including a lot more details about the process and my feelings, and I hope that doesn't make you think I don't care as much about this cycle as I have the others; I just have a lot less time to blog these days than I did then. I will say that the Lord has already shown Himself faithful on my behalf this cycle, and I'm trusting Him to continue.  Coveting your prayers as you ...

It's that time again!  Time to muster up the courage, more emotional energy than I can shake a stick at, and lots and lots of prayer as we pursue IVF once again to try to expand our family.  Prayer is really why I've decided to post about this at all; I need me some prayer warriors!  If you think of it, please do pray for us as we begin IVF for the fourth time.  This time, since we are doing a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET for short), it will still involve plenty of medication and an extreme emotional rollercoaster ride, just not quite as many shots or doctor appointments (for which I am thankful!). We are ready to do this.  Noah is seven, Seth is almost two, and I'm not getting any younger either!  We would love to have one more baby, and we have committed to doing this "last" round of IVF, so here we go! Here's our tentative timeline: Now thru mid-Sept  Take first type of medication, gradually increasing the dosage. Mid-Sept  Have blood work...