Turning It All Over To God

I wanted to get this written while I'm still on this side of the results.  This is a unique place to be--this not knowing.  You want to believe that the Lord will answer your prayer, but you're scared to hope lest those hopes crash down around you in broken shards.

I have not been the most stable person over the last week.  One minute I'm convinced I'm pregnant (the progesterone shots alone will do that to you), the next minute I'm convinced I'm not, and already trying not to be too discouraged.  The minute after that I remind myself that these 2 little lives are God's anyway, and I can trust Him to do what is best for me, for my family, and for His glory.  That last thought is the only sane one in the bunch, and is the only one that frees me from the bondage of  What Ifs.  Here are some stabilizing truths that I've had to come back to over and over again, as I turn my mind battles over to the Lord minute-by-minute (second-by-second?).

God is in control.  Whatever God's chosen outcome for this, He did it on purpose.

God is good.  This will be for my good, no matter what the outcome.

God loves me.  He sent His Son to die for me; what further proof do I need?

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.  Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil.  It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones."  Prov 3:5-8

Amen.





Comments

Carrie said…
Romans 8:32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?...and if you keep reading "Nothing can separate you from God's love." Don't doubt his love, He loves you, you are His child.
March 9, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Ruth said…
It is a hard place to be. I found myself trying so hard NOT to get my hopes up because I didn't want to come crashing down, but when you've invested thousands of dollars, had many shots, etc. it's hard not to get one's hopes up at least a little. You are 100% right that God is in control and has a wonderful plan for your life even if that plan isn't how you would have planned your life. Two things I would encourage you to remember in addition to the truths you stated about God: #1 you still have two frozen embryos so if you only see one line next week - you have another chance in the near future and #2 God has blessed you with Noah. When I did ivf for #2 I kept telling myself that if I got a BFN it would hurt but not nearly as much as when my arms were empty. TTC is never fun, but for me the 6 years until Nadia was in my arms were really hard and when I had her I was so thrilled I knew that if I had another miscarriage it wouldn't be as bad as it was when I came home to a childless home. I'm praying for a BFP next week!!!!
March 9, 2012 at 1:12 PM
Marmee said…
One day at a time....we are all thinking of you and praying.
March 12, 2012 at 5:52 PM
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